Sunday, November 26, 2006

Heaven Beside You

Walking from a distance, an old man see's a light on the highest rock on the highest mountain. He walks up the rocky snowy mountain to see the light that was in the distance is beginning to fade. He rushes to it before it fades away. He finally reaches the rock and notices a bright object that he can not see. He goes closer to investigate. He reaches in the little hole where this bright object is located to see if it's hot. It's as cold as ice. He wraps it in cloth and picks it up and runs down the mountain. The ground begins to crumble behind him. He runs faster and faster until he reaches the bottom of the mountain. The bright object that he can not see is still in hand so he continues to go back to his village. He goes in the darkest room of the darkest village to read the bright object he picked up from the highest rock on the highest mountain. The object is too bright still. He asked a fellow elder how he can read this. The elder told him to go in the lowest village in the lowest valley for an answer. The old man follows the directions and reaches the valley within days. He meets with another elder. The old man tells the elder that he's from the darkest room from the darkest valley and that he picked up an object from the highest rock on the highest mountain and wanted to know what the explanation of this object. The elder tells him to follow the longest steepest trail down to the foggy valley and drop it in the water to uncover the truth of the object. The old man follows the instructions and goes to foggy valley. Once there, the old man notices 3 bridges down to the bottom of the foggy valley. He must decide which bridge he should take but he can't tell which one is the right one. He see's an elder and asks for directions. He tells the elder that he is from the darkest valley and that he found an object on the highest rock on the highest mountain. And that an elder from the lowest village in the lowest valley told him to come here. The elder asks to look at this object. The old man opens the cloth to show the elder the object. The elder is blinded by the bright object. He tells the old man to follow the 3rd bridge to the bottom of the foggy valley. "There" he said "will be the answer to your question. The old man goes down the 3rd bridge. He can't see anything but he continues to go down it. The bridge seems to be going forever but feels like he's going up. The sun is becoming more and more noticeable as minutes becomes hours and hours become days. Then out of nowhere, a big gust of wind blows through the foggy valley. The fog is no more. The old man looks around him and see's the bridge with no beginning and no ending. He walks a little further and the object in his hand gets darker. He's almost able to read it. He runs faster so he can read it further. He reads "It is..." on the object but he can't read the rest. He runs again and notices the end of the bridge. He can see that it ends but he can't see what it is connected to. He walks to the edge and looks down to nothing. He looks behind him and see's nothing. He tries to grab the rope of the bridge but it has also disappeared. He looks up to the heavens and see's nothing. He looks at the object and notices that he can read what it says.

It is your time to die old man, Heaven Beside You.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Smell That? I Smell Bullshit!

The Gloves Made Me Do It!



OJ "Killer" Simpson is doing a special on "If I Did It, Here's How It Happened". I can't believe this shit. If you claim you are so innocent, why in the hell would you do a special on how you would kill somebody that you "didn't" kill? I don't fucking know, here's the damn story below.

LOS ANGELES - Fox plans to broadcast an interview with O.J. Simpson in which the former football star discusses "how he would have committed" the slayings of his ex-wife and her friend, for which he was acquitted, the network said.

The two-part interview, titled "O.J. Simpson: If I Did It, Here's How It Happened," will air Nov. 27 and Nov. 29, the TV network said.

Simpson has agreed to an "unrestricted" interview with book publisher Judith Regan, Fox said.

"O.J. Simpson, in his own words, tells for the first time how he would have committed the murders if he were the one responsible for the crimes," the network said in a statement. "In the two-part event, Simpson describes how he would have carried out the murders he has vehemently denied committing for over a decade."

The interview will air days before Simpson's new book, "If I Did It," goes on sale Nov. 30. The book, published by Regan, "hypothetically describes how the murders would have been committed."

In a video clip on the network's Web site, an off-screen interviewer says to Simpson, "You wrote 'I have never seen so much blood in my life.'"

"I don't think any two people could be murdered without everybody being covered in blood," Simpson responds.

Simpson, who now lives in Florida, was acquitted in a criminal trial of the 1994 killings of his ex-wife, Nicole Brown Simpson, and her friend Ronald Goldman. Simpson was later found liable in 1997 in a wrongful death lawsuit filed by the Goldman family.

Messages left with Simpson and his attorney Yale Galanter were not immediately returned.

Monday, November 13, 2006

Mario Fan



I picked up my brother's old games and started playing them. I'm now hooked on Super Mario Brothers. I can't believe this is so cool!

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Crotch Rocket Gone Wrong



How can a fool proof idea go wrong?! Here's how:

LONDON (AFP) - A man was rushed to hospital in Britain with severe internal injuries after trying to launch a powerful firework from his bottom, an ambulance service spokesman said.

It is thought that the 22-year-old could have been trying to imitate a scene from "Jackass: The Movie", a controversial film featuring a series of edgy pranks.

Footage of the incident in Sunderland, north-east England, was captured on a mobile phone by a gang of youths and shows a white flash followed by hysterical laughter and a youth shouting: "Ha ha ha ha," followed by an expletive.

A spokesman for the North East ambulance service said: "We received a call stating there was a male who had a firework in his bottom and it was bleeding."

He is now recovering in a Sunderland hospital after sustaining internal injuries including a scorched colon.

The incident took place on November 5, when Britons light bonfires and let off fireworks to commemorate a 17th century plot to blow up the Houses of Parliament.


The video will appear on the internet in no time so until then:

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Too Much Bad News To Tell

There is too much bad news in the news today. So I decided to post this instead of a story.

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Naked Man Arrested For Concealed Weapon

EL CERRITO, Calif. - A man was arrested on suspicion of carrying a concealed weapon after police found him outdoors — naked — and he told them he had a tool in his rectum, authorities said.

The man was lying on a tree stump, masturbating beside a nature path, near a Bay Area Rapid Transit station Thursday, police said.

John Sheehan, 33, of Pittsburg, was initially arrested on suspicion of indecent exposure. But when asked whether he was carrying anything police should know about, Sheehan mentioned the tool, said El Cerrito Detective Cpl. Don Horgan.

"You can't get much more concealed than that," Horgan said.

Officers drew their weapons and firefighters were called to the scene. Sheehan removed a 6-inch metal awl wrapped in black electrical tape without incident.

Sheehan, who was paroled from state prison last week, was then booked into jail on suspicion of parole violations, indecent exposure and one felony count of possessing a concealed weapon.

"When you're talking about an awl or an ice pick and you're dealing with somebody who's fresh out of prison, it's a weapon. That's a stabbing instrument," Horgan said.

It was not immediately clear what Sheehan was on parole for. A person answering the phone at the jail Friday night did not know whether Sheehan had a lawyer.

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I would give one of my famous quotes but the story does it all for me already. All I have to say is WTF?