Dumass of the Day

Man jailed for trying to pass $1M bill

PITTSBURGH - Change for a million? That's what a man was seeking Saturday when he handed a $1 million bill to a cashier at a Pittsburgh supermarket. But when the Giant Eagle employee refused and a manager confiscated the bogus bill, the man flew into a rage, police said.

The man slammed an electronic funds-transfer machine into the counter and reached for a scanner gun, police said.

Police arrested the man, who was not carrying identification and has refused to give his name to authorities. He is being held in the Allegheny County Jail.

Since 1969, the $100 bill is the largest note in circulation.

Police believe the $1 million note seized at the supermarket may have originated at a Dallas-based ministry. Last year, the ministry distributed thousands of religious pamphlets with a picture of President Grover Cleveland on a $1 million bill.

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Now why go into a supermarket to cash a 1 million bill? I would first get a million dollars worth of stuff so it wouldn't look wierd. I bet all he bought was a pack of gum.

Troops Are Coming Home Soon, But Until Then...

Bush Mystifies The Kids



Bush On His Way To Chucky Cheese


Bush Reenacting A Scene From Mary Poppins


Bush's Legs Have A Mind Of Their Own




Bush's Ancestry




Bush Confused



Bush Trying To Get Stella's Groove Back



Bush's First Husband



Bush Looking Hardcore



Bush Leading The Troops On The Iraqi Border



Bush Reading The Bible



Bush Trying To Get 'Dem Digits


Bush At The Harry Potter Premier



Bush Teaching Kids How To Read Good



Bush Dancing

Our Justice System

I man's record is now expunged because after 25 years they find out he didn't rape the woman. Oops, my bad. He was 21 when he went to jail and ended up in jail for most of his life. Sometimes you have to wonder about our justice system.

Because of our justice system I have to be against the death penalty. If anybody has the chance to watch The Life of David Gale I highly recommend it. Here's the story of the guy's story below.

CHICAGO (AFP) - A man who spent 25 years in jail for a rape he didn't commit had his conviction quashed on the basis of new DNA evidence Monday, bringing to 200 the number of cases overturned in similar fashion nationwide since the 1980s.

A judge vacated Jerry Millers conviction on all charges stemming from the 1981 rape of a Chicago businesswoman, after his lawyers and state prosecutors presented genetic evidence that ruled him out as the attacker.

Miller, 48, already is out of jail, having been paroled in March 2006 after serving more than half of his sentence.

Monday's finding means the conviction will be expunged from his record. He now will be removed from a list of convicted sex offenders, and no longer will be required to wear the electronic tag that was a condition of his parole.

Just as importantly, it paves the way for him to seek compensation from the state for his quarter century of incarceration.

Miller was 21 years old and fresh from a stint in the army when he was fingered as the assailant in a brazen attack on a 44-year-old woman in a downtown Chicago garage late one night in September, 1981.

The attacker surprised the woman as she was about to enter her car. He beat, robbed and raped her, and then forced her into the trunk of her car.

With the victim still in the trunk, the assailant tried to drive the vehicle out of the garage, but was forced to flee on foot when confronted by two parking attendants.

DNA testing was not available when Miller was convicted of the attack in the early 1980s and sentenced to 45 years in jail for rape, robbery, and aggravated kidnapping and aggravated battery.

His conviction turned largely on what proved to be flawed eyewitness testimony, which is at fault in many wrongful conviction cases according to the Innocence Project, a non-profit legal clinic that helped to clear his name.

During his two and a half decades behind bars, Miller says he wrote hundreds of letters to lawyers, journalists and others seeking help.

It was one such letter to the Innocence Project that led to a request for the DNA testing that ultimately exposed his case as a miscarriage of justice.

Nappy Headed Ho's Do Oprah's Hair On Tomorrow's Episode

BUT FIRST!

In summary if you don't want to read all of it, Imus goes to Al Sharpton's radio show. Why when rich people get in trouble with something they always go to a place where they feel like they will be forgiven. I just said a racist remark, let me go to the leading African American guy that people like to show that I might call black women Nappy Headed Ho's doesn't mean I'm racist. I was referring to an episode of Golden Girls. I kind of remember Mel Gibson (that Thunderdome guy) made some racist remarks too towards the Jewish. And let's not forget the fallen Michael Richards. But I digress, here's story number one and story number two is after it.

NEW YORK - Don Imus' racist remarks got him fired by CBS on Thursday, the finale to a stunning fall for one of the nation's most prominent broadcasters.

Imus was initially suspended for two weeks after he called the Rutgers women's basketball team "nappy-headed hos" on the air last week. But outrage kept growing and advertisers kept bolting from his CBS radio show and its MSNBC simulcast, which was canceled Wednesday.

"There has been much discussion of the effect language like this has on our young people, particularly young women of color trying to make their way in this society," CBS President and Chief Executive Officer Leslie Moonves said in announcing the decision. "That consideration has weighed most heavily on our minds as we made our decision."

Imus, 66, had a long history of inflammatory remarks. But something struck a raw nerve when he targeted the Rutgers team — which includes a class valedictorian, a future lawyer and a musical prodigy — after they lost in the NCAA championship game.

A spokeswoman for the team said it did not have an immediate comment on Imus' firing. But Imus was scheduled to meet with the team Thursday evening at the governor's mansion in Princeton, N.J., and the team was seen entering the mansion.

He was fired in the middle of a two-day radio fundraiser for children's charities. CBS announced that Imus' wife, Deirdre, and his longtime newsman, Charles McCord, will host Friday's show.

The cantankerous Imus, once named one of the 25 Most Influential People in America by Time magazine and a member of the National Broadcasters Hall of Fame, was one of radio's original shock jocks. His career took flight in the 1970s and with a cocaine- and vodka-fueled outrageous humor. After sobering up, he settled into a mix of highbrow talk about politics and culture, with locker room humor sprinkled in.

He issued repeated apologies as protests intensified. But it wasn't enough as everyone from Hillary Clinton to Barack Obama (news, bio, voting record) to Oprah Winfrey joined the criticism.

The Rev. Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson met with Moonves on Thursday to demand Imus' removal.

Jackson called the firing "a victory for public decency. No one should use the public airwaves to transmit racial or sexual degradation."

Said Sharpton: "He says he wants to be forgiven. I hope he continues in that process. But we cannot afford a precedent established that the airways can commercialize and mainstream sexism and racism."

In a memo to staff members, Moonves said the firing "is about a lot more than Imus."

"He has flourished in a culture that permits a certain level of objectionable expression that hurts and demeans a wide range of people," Moonves said. "In taking him off the air, I believe we take an important and necessary step not just in solving a unique problem, but in changing that culture, which extends far beyond the walls of our company."

It's also likely to trigger a wider debate about expression and forgiveness. Some of Imus' fans have pointed to inflammatory statements made by Sharpton and Jackson in the past, or in the lyrics of popular music.

Losing Imus will be a financial hit to CBS Radio, which also suffered when Howard Stern departed for satellite radio. The program earns about $15 million in annual revenue for CBS, which owns Imus' home radio station WFAN-AM and manages Westwood One, the company that syndicates the show nationally. One potential replacement: the sports show "Mike & the Mad Dog," which airs afternoons on WFAN.

The radiothon had raised more than $1.3 million Thursday before Imus learned that he had lost his job. The annual event has raised more than $40 million since 1990.

"This may be our last radiothon, so we need to raise about $100 million," Imus cracked at the start of the event.

Volunteers were getting about 200 more pledges per hour than they did last year, with most callers expressing support for Imus, said phone bank supervisor Tony Gonzalez. The event benefited Tomorrows Children's Fund, the CJ Foundation for SIDS and the Imus Ranch.

Imus, whose suspension was supposed to start next week, was in the awkward situation of broadcasting Thursday's radio program from the MSNBC studios in New Jersey, even though NBC News said the night before that MSNBC would no longer simulcast his program on television.

He didn't attack MSNBC (a unit of NBC Universal, owned by General Electric Co.) for its decision — "I understand the pressure they were under," he said — but complained the network was doing some unethical things during the broadcast. He didn't elaborate.

Sponsors that pulled out of Imus' show included American Express Co., Sprint Nextel Corp., Staples Inc., Procter & Gamble Co. and General Motors Corp. Imus made a point Thursday to thank one sponsor, Bigelow Tea, for sticking by him.

The list of his potential guests began to shrink, too.

Newsweek Editor Jon Meacham said the magazine's staffers would no longer appear on Imus' show. Meacham, Jonathan Alter, Evan Thomas, Howard Fineman and Michael Isikoff from Newsweek have been frequent guests.

Imus has complained bitterly about a lack of support from one black politician, Harold Ford Jr., even though he strongly backed Ford's campaign for Senate in Tennessee last year. Ford, now head of the Democratic Leadership Council, said Thursday he'll leave it to others to decide Imus' future.

"I don't want to be viewed as piling on right now because Don Imus is a good friend and a decent man," Ford said. "However, he did a reprehensible thing."

Imus' troubles have also affected his wife, whose book "Green This!" came out this week. Her promotional tour has been called off "because of the enormous pressure that Deirdre and her family are under," said Simon & Schuster publicist Victoria Meyer.

People are buying it, though: An original printing of 45,000 was increased to 55,000.

Imus still has a lot of support among radio managers across the country, many of whom grew up listening to him, said Tom Taylor, editor of the trade publication Inside Radio.

Rutgers' team, meanwhile, appeared Thursday on "The Oprah Winfrey Show" with their coach, C. Vivian Stringer.

At the end of their appearance, Winfrey said: "I want to borrow a line from Maya Angelou, who is a personal mentor of mine and I know you all also feel the same way about her. And she has said this many times, and I say this to you, on behalf of myself and every woman that I know, you make me proud to spell my name W-O-M-A-N."

Blah blah blah, so now the guy is fired :(
At least he isn't having as bad of a day as this guy:

Now what you've all been waiting for!

CHICAGO -- The Rutgers' women's basketball team and coach C. Vivian Stringer were scheduled to appear on "The Oprah Winfrey Show" Thursday as furor continues over remarks made about the team by radio host Don Imus.

Stringer and the 10 team members will appear live via satellite, a spokeswoman for Harpo Productions Inc. said Wednesday night.

Imus triggered an uproar April 4 when he referred to the mostly black Rutgers team as "nappy-headed hos" on his nationally syndicated radio show.

The team spoke publicly for the first time Tuesday about the on-air comments, made the day after the team lost the NCAA championship game to Tennessee, calling them insensitive and hurtful.

MSNBC on Wednesday said it will drop its simulcast of "Imus in the Morning," after a growing list of sponsors said they were pulling ads. CBS Corp. has suspended Imus without pay for two weeks beginning Monday.

But his hand was glued or stapled back together, whatever those doctors do. Well at least he wasn't fired! HA!

Angel At The Vatican

When retired policeman Andy Key went on a trip to Rome, he was struck by the beauty of sunlight streaming through a window in the Vatican.

As the Pope made an address nearby, he decided to capture the stunning image on his camera.

But it was only when Mr Key, 48, and his wife Susan, 44, returned home and and downloaded their photographs that they noticed a strange apparition in the picture.

They were amazed to see what looked like the image of a guardian angel above the heads of other visitors to St Peter's Basilica.

Mr Key, from March, Cambridgeshire, said: "It looks like an angel hovering on the people's heads.

"No-one can explain it - there's nothing on their heads for the light to bounce off."

Mr Key went on the holiday to mark his retirement from his job as a police constable for Cambridgeshire Police.

He and his wife, a medical secretary, were looking around the famous church when they noticed a large group of people and realised the Pope was making an address nearby.

"I was taking pictures of all the things around us and saw this huge window with the light streaming through and thought it looked beautiful," he explained.

"I snapped the picture and didn't noticed anything until I got home.

"It looks almost like a hologram. I thought it was really spooky."

Professional photographers have studied Mr Key's photo and are at a loss to explain what may have caused the image.

It was only revealed when he got home, plugged his digital Kodak camera into his computer and downloaded the images.

Mr Key, who now works as a student mentor at the Neale-Wade Community College in March, said: "It wasn't as if we had visited Rome for any particularly religious reason. We were simply sight-seeing as you do.

"I had not really thought about angels and stuff before. I don't know if I believe in it all but it does look like an angel.

"Several people have looked at it including a professional photographer and they can't work out what it might be - maybe it is a guardian angel."

It is by no means the first time holy images have unexpectedly appeared.

Two years ago, church organist Rita Clayson found a picture of Jesus Christ in an ancient tree in a small Northamptonshire village.

Twisted ivy roots helped to form his face on a tree trunk in a small spinney on the edge of Little Houghton.

Earlier this month, pregnant Amanda Skelding, 23, from Glasgow, saw what appeared to be a traditional image of Jesus in the grainy black and white picture she was handed after her ultraound scan.

Man Has Sexy Time With Dead Deer

SUPERIOR, Wis. - A 20-year-old man received probation after he was convicted of having sexual contact with a dead deer. The sentence also requires Bryan James Hathaway to be evaluated as a sex offender and treated at the Institute for Psychological and Sexual Health in Duluth, Minn.

"The state believes that particular place is the best to provide treatment for the individual," Assistant District Attorney Jim Boughner said.

Hathaway's probation will be served at the same time as a nine-month jail sentence he received in February for violating his extended supervision.

He was found guilty in April 2005 of felony mistreatment of an animal after he killed a horse with the intention of having sex with it. He was sentenced to 18 months in jail and two years of extended supervision on that charge as well as six years of probation for taking and driving a vehicle without the owner's consent.

Hathaway pleaded no contest earlier this month to misdemeanor mistreatment of an animal for the incident involving the deer. He was sentenced Tuesday in Douglas County Circuit Court.

"The type of behavior is disturbing," Judge Michael Lucci said. "It's disturbing to the public. It's disturbing to the court."

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Kind of reminds me of a song:

And I’m proud to be an American where as least I know I’m free.
And I won’t forget the men who died, who gave that right to me.
And I’d gladly stand up next to you and defend her still today.
‘Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land God bless the U.S.A.

George Washington is doing cringing in his grave at this story. Only in the U.S. can you find the news discussing a guy having sex with a dead deer. It just doesn't feel right to laugh. Now if I lived in another country than this would be funny.

Why?

Why are the quickest money earning schemes so illegal?

Selling drugs seem to be the quick easy way to get money. Sure the customers become addicted to your merchandise and will keep coming, but they begin to be a little crazy with knives when they want more.

Robbing stores are another way. Besides being shot and caught and anal raped in prison, I don't see anything negative things.

Hooking. If you like having sex a lot then this would be perfect. Just have to worry about undercover cops and "clients" who have the A-Z of STDs on them.

Milk Money Scheme. I don't know how popular this method is nowadays, but my friend tried it and got some money and ended up doing it wrong and lost it. This method is I think legal but kind of weird. Their will always be a top person and hundreds of people at the bottom reaching to the top. The more people you have below you, the more money you would make. And all it is just giving money away. At least 50 or whatever that system requires. Once you get the money, you keep a part of it and give the rest to the person above you. And that person does the same thing to the person above him until it reaches the top person in that system. That top person could have hundreds of people under him giving him money. He becomes a millionaire every week! But I'm sure that's illegal.

A honest hard working job. Whatever.

Porn Star. Kind of fits in with the hooker. The only diff is people pay to watch you. I don't know.

Bum. Sure, just sit on a street with a sign, make sure it has plenty of misspelling to make it more desperate and be mute. Cutting off your leg is dedication and claiming you are a war vet is pure gold.

What It Would Be Like?

If I could choose a president to hang out with, I would choose Bush. My first question would be...

How in the hell did you get elected twice?

A Sick Serious Story

This story happened in Texas. Out of all the killing over in Iraq, this is the most pointless killing I've heard of in awhile.

SAN ANTONIO - The mother of two young children whose decomposing bodies were found wrapped in plastic bags beneath a house this week was arrested Saturday and charged with capital murder.

Valerie Lopez, 19, was arrested early Saturday along with her boyfriend, authorities said.

Lopez confessed to beating to death Sariyah Garcia, her 18-month-old daughter, and hiding her body beneath her home, Police Chief William McManus said. Sariyah died Christmas Eve.

Lopez told investigators she killed Sebastian Lopez, her 5-month-old son, when she accidentally rolled over him about two months later, District Attorney Susan Reed said. Lopez also hid his body under the house.

The boyfriend, Jerry Salazar, faces a charge of injury to a child by omission. He was aware Lopez was abusing her children, police said.

Police had been searching for the couple since Tuesday night when the children's bodies were found by residents of a triplex who were trying to locate the source of a foul odor they had been smelling for as long as two weeks.

Family members had little contact with Lopez since she had started living with Salazar, but friends reported seeing her looking as if she had been beaten up, her sister said.

An official at the Bexar County Jail said she did not know if Lopez had an attorney. She said Lopez's bail had been set at $10 million.

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How in the fuck can you accidentally run over your own child? This mother fucker needs to be ran over. Both parents. Some people just shouldn't have children. Now if only her mother aborted her so that she wouldn't have cursed her own children with this pointless death. Sad sad story. No good will come out of this. Who can you feel sorry for? And the fact that she hid her under her own home! That's fucking crazy! Knowing our justice system, she'll be out on probation in a couple of years blaming it on postpartum depression.

Can I Watch This Movie Mommy?

Let me check the Kids In Mind website to see if it's appropriate.......

SEX/NUDITY 9 - A nude man (we see his bare chest, abdomen and legs, while rolls of skin hide his genitals) masturbates while looking at a magazine with photos of women in swimwear; another man jumps on him, they wrestle, one man grabs the other's genitals and squeezes and also bites the other man's nipple, and one man straddles the other with his testicles in the man's face (we see one man's bare buttocks and testicles, while the other man's genitals are covered by a superimposed black bar).
► Two men touch each other's genitals (both are clothed) and they then wrestle while wearing only their underwear; we are told that one man takes a shower and another washes him (one man asks why another man tried to put a rubber fist in his anus).
► A man masturbates while looking at mannequins dressed in lingerie in a store window (we see his hand in his pants moving rhythmically and people are alarmed as they walk by). A man slaps cologne on another man's genitals (we do not see any flesh).
► We see a very short segment (no details are shown) of a video that we are told shows a woman performing oral sex on her husband (they are both celebrities). A man drives along a road where women proposition him.
► We see photographs of a young man with his genitals clearly visible and another man identifies him as his son. We see a picture of a nude woman hanging on a wall (her bare breasts and bare buttock are visible). Two nude men run through a hotel, people in the hotel stare in shock, and the men run into a meeting room and onto a stage where they wrestle briefly. A man wearing mesh jockey shorts sits in a chair while another man blows his hair dry, and then the man points the blow dryer down his underwear in the front and back. A man wears a thong-type swimsuit that reveals bare buttocks. A man watches a TV show where actresses wear tight-fitting swimsuits (cleavage and part of bare buttocks are exposed). A woman wears a low-cut top that reveals cleavage.
► A man tells a crude story about his sister teasing his brother (that he will never have sex while she exposes herself to him) and that the brother breaks out of "his cage and gets it." A man says, "I like sex." A man introduces another man as the "town rapist" and later makes a comment about him raping animals. A man tells a woman that he would like to pay her for sex (they do not have sex). A woman joins a man at a dinner party and it is suggested that she is a prostitute. A man tells a woman that he has just met that she has an erotic physique. A man talks about wanting to ejaculate on a woman's stomach. A man passes a woman on the street, he makes suggestive noises and asks her "how much." A man asks about having "sexy time" with women. Using crude terms, a man asks a car salesman for a car that will attract women. A man is shocked when another man tells him that women can choose with whom they have sex.
► A man kisses a woman whom he describes as his sister, and says that she is a prostitute. A man kisses many men on the cheeks as a greeting. A man tries to kiss a man as a greeting, and the man becomes upset and yells at him.

VIOLENCE/GORE 5 - We see a bear's severed head in a refrigerator (a small amount of blood is visible on the fur).
► A man lunges toward a woman, covers her with a cloth sack, knocks her to the ground and struggles to keep her from getting away (it is supposedly a marriage proposal); she does get away and runs, and security guards tackle the man in a parking lot and hold him to the ground.
► A man talks about killing homosexuals and Muslims, or anyone who looks like a Muslim. A man blames 9/11 on "the Jews." Two men are shocked when they discover their hosts in a bed and breakfast are Jewish and they fear that they will be murdered in the night (they say, "You can barely see their horns.").
► People line a street to watch the "running of the Jews": we see two people wearing very large plaster heads with horns running along a street, while other people run in front of and behind them yelling; one of the people wearing a plaster head stops and drops a large egg on the ground, whereupon children rush and crush it.
► A man and a woman are asked to leave a dinner party (presumably because the woman is an African-American prostitute) and are told that the police have been called.
► A man buys a black bear, chains it to the back of the ice cream truck he is driving, and the bear growls loudly at children who approach the truck, and the children run away screaming. A horse rears, the rider falls off and the horse falls on top of him (we do not hear anything about the rider's injuries).
► Two men shove each other. A man tries to say hello and introduce himself to people on a street, they yell at him, and threaten him and they run away. People become angry and yell at a man singing an anthem about his own country. A wife threatens to snap off her husband's genitals if he is unfaithful. A man driving a car yells out the car window at another driver who honks at him. A man tries to kiss a man as a greeting, and the man becomes upset and yells at him.
► A man defecates in shrubs along a busy street (we see part of his bare thigh and people walk by and are alarmed). We see bear feces smeared on the back of a truck. A man washes his face in a lake right next to where another man is urinating. A man washes his face in toilet water. A man tells his host that he needs to use the bathroom and returns with a plastic bag filled, presumably, with feces (the host is alarmed and she takes him back to the bathroom in order to dispose of the bag properly).
► Children in a dilapidated building are introduced as being in pre-school and they are holding guns. A man is introduced as being an "abortionist." We hear that a woman was killed by a bear and her husband celebrates.
► A chicken runs through a subway train car and frightens passengers. A man throws a bag down and we hear a chicken cluck from inside the bag. A man stumbles and falls several times breaking many fragile items in an antique store.
► We see people thrashing on the floor during an Evangelical Christian church service. A man is tied to a large cross and poked with a reed rake repeatedly (symbolizing a crucifixion).

PROFANITY 6 - 19 F-words and its derivatives, 26 sexual references, 9 scatological terms, 22 anatomical terms, 8 mild obscenities, many insulting remarks about Jews and gypsies, name-calling (stupid, idiot). [profanity glossary]

SUBSTANCE USE - People drink wine at dinner in a few scenes, a man opens a bottle of alcohol while driving a car (we do not see him drink from the bottle), men are shown drinking shots of alcohol and beer, and men are shown drinking beer. A man smokes a cigarette.

DISCUSSION TOPICS - Culture, rape, abortion, racism, bigotry, slavery, anti-Semitism, AIDS, feminism, homosexuality, marriage, death of a spouse, Evangelical Christianity.

MESSAGE - Cultural differences can be extreme. Many people won't admit it, but they are bigots.

Life's A Bitch, But You Still Wanna Do Her Again

Bosses pissing you off? You work hard on your wages or salary and get nothing extra for it? Life getting you down? Well I have the perfect gift for you! No I don't. Life is going to continuously screw you doggy style until it makes you squeal like little pig getting ready for the slaughter. What can you do to fix it? Nothing. Life is that broken vase that can't be replaced. No matter how much glue you use to put it back together, it still begins to crumble at the weight. What's the point of it all? No point. Life will continue to sleep with your best friends and take money out of your wallet at the end of the night. If life was a pimp, it would've bitch slapped you by now. Life is a whore you can't live without. You can sleep around on life but you always go back to it, because, life sucks! It sucks giant King Kong dick!

You turn on the news and all you see is somebody else's life is fucked over. Life has claimed another victim for jail. Where's life now? It's the soap waiting for you to pick up in the jail shower. And it fucks you over again!
So enjoy the bitch we call life. She's waiting behind you.

11 Dead and Over 100 Injured flying Kites

At least 11 people died and more than 100 people were injured at an annual spring festival in eastern Pakistan celebrated with the flying of thousands of colourful kites, officials said today.

The deaths and injuries were caused by stray bullets, sharpened kite-strings, electrocution and people falling off rooftops yesterday at the conclusion of the two-day Basant festival, said Ruqia Bano, spokeswoman for emergency service in the city of Lahore.

The festival is regularly marred by casualties caused by sharp kite strings or celebratory gunshots fired into the air.

Kite flyers often use strings made of wire or coated with ground glass to try to cross and cut a rival’s string or damage the other kite, often after betting on the outcome.


Authorities temporarily lifted a ban on kite flying that was imposed last year following a string of deaths at the festival.

Lahore Mayor Mian Amier Mahmood said that the two-day permission to fly kites ended yesterday and the ban has been re-imposed.

Police arrested more than 700 people for using sharpened kite strings or firing guns and seized 282 illegally held weapons during this year’s festival, said Aftab Cheema, a senior Lahore police officer.

Smile, It's Freakin' Monday!

I'm getting tired of Anna's sex life. Now a big black guy is involved. I guess you have to be dead and have sex with black people to be considered famous now, consider me golding

Here's the damn story

NASSAU, Bahamas - Photographs of Anna Nicole Smith in bed embracing the Bahamian immigration minister who approved her application for permanent residency here revived a political scandal in the islands Monday.

Also Monday, the son-in-law of the American developer embroiled in an ownership dispute over the Nassau mansion where Smith was living said he found methadone in her bedroom refrigerator when he went to secure the estate following her death in Florida last week.

A private pathologist has said methadone contributed to the death of Smith's 20-year-old son Daniel in the Bahamas in September. Daniel Smith died while visiting his mother and newborn half-sister in a Bahamas hospital and an inquest into his death in the Bahamas is planned.

Two photographs published on the front page of The Tribune of Nassau Monday showed Smith and Immigration Minister Shane Gibson, both fully clothed, embracing on a bed decorated with pink flowers and a white ribbon. In one of the photos, they look into each other's eyes, their faces only a couple of inches apart.

Gibson, an elected member of Parliament from the ruling Progressive Liberal Party, has already been accused of showing Smith preferential treatment by fast-tracking her residency application last year. With general elections due this spring, many said the photographs, taken in Smith's bedroom, could damage the ruling party.

Cassius Stuart, leader of the Bahamas Democratic Movement, said Gibson has "shamed" the Bahamas and called for him to resign.

"He should do the right thing and step down," he told reporters outside Smith's Nassau residence. The BDM is a small opposition party with no seats in parliament.

Gibson did not return calls seeking comment. But government spokesman Al Dillette dismissed any suggestion of impropriety.

"Minister Gibson is a friend of Anna Nicole, and that's all a matter of public record," he said.

John Marquis, managing editor of The Tribune, declined to say who provided the photographs. He said he published them because of their potential political impact.

"For the Bahamas, it's not just a salacious story," he said. "It's a story with pretty far-reaching political implications."

Ron Rale, a lawyer for Smith and representative of her most recent companion, Howard K. Stern, scrambled Monday to keep control over items he said were stolen from the mansion over the weekend, including images from a computer taken from the house.

Rale said anyone who disseminates the items without his prior written consent "will be held liable to the fullest extent of the law." Rale said police have recovered all the missing property.

Meanwhile, Ford Shelley, the son-in-law of developer G. Ben Thompson who once dated Smith, said he found the methadone Friday when he went to secure the house after Smith died Thursday in Florida.

Both Smith and Thompson claimed ownership of the $900,000 house. Thompson said he loaned Smith money for the house, but Smith claimed Thompson had given her the gated mansion as a gift.

Shelley told The Associated Press by telephone from Myrtle Beach, S.C., that he notified police about the drugs, saying he felt a responsibility to do so.

Shelley said he came to Nassau after hearing that Gibson's mother, who was reportedly caring for Smith's 5-month-old daughter during her trip to Florida, went to the house to remove some of the baby's things.

Stern has since reclaimed the mansion and is staying there with the baby, Dannielynn Hope Marshall Stern.

Stern said he is trying to keep Smith's mother, Vergie Arthur, from seeing Dannielynn. Arthur traveled from the United States and went to the gates of the mansion on Sunday.

Stern insisted that Smith hated her mother.

"She just despised that woman," Stern said, in a video segment broadcast Monday on ABC's "Good Morning America."

Arthur told "Good Morning America" that she fears for Dannielynn's safety, noting Stern had been present when Daniel Smith died.

"I do have a problem with her being with Howard Stern," Arthur said. "I had a daughter and I had a grandson. He was there when both of them died. Now I only have a granddaughter left, and now he has her, and I'm afraid for her."

Stern is listed on a birth certificate as Dannielynn's father. But two other men have challenged the paternity claim.

A former boyfriend, Larry Birkhead, has filed a lawsuit claiming he is the father. Arthur backs his claim.

Prince Frederic von Anhalt, the husband of actress Zsa Zsa Gabor, has said he had a decade-long affair with Smith and may be the father. He said Monday he plans to file a paternity challenge in court and wants a DNA test.

Since the death in 1995 of her 90-year-old husband, Texas oil tycoon J. Howard Marshall II, Smith had been waging a court battle over his estate

Anna Nicole Smith's Sex Life

Ok I'm just looking at the news in the world and I see hunderds of people dying and the one thing that I can't seem to stop thinking about is Anna Nicole Smith's sex life. Why am I thinking about a dead person's sex life? Well let me just post this video for no apparent reason below and continue.

NASSAU, Bahamas - The locks at the Bahamas mansion where Anna Nicole Smith had been living were changed twice Saturday as an ownership dispute heated up between her estate and a U.S. developer who had a brief relationship with her.

Outside the gated mansion in Nassau, Smith's attorney Wayne Munroe told reporters he had retaken possession of the estate and filed a robbery complaint with police over computer equipment and other personal effects allegedly taken out.

Several hours earlier, the attorney for a U.S. developer who also claims ownership of the waterfront mansion, said he had the locks changed, put a chain on the gate and had taken control of the residence on behalf of his client.

The South Carolina developer, G. Ben Thompson, had a brief relationship with Smith and was embroiled in an ownership dispute with the 39-year-old former Playboy playmate before she died Thursday in Florida.

Smith had claimed that Thompson bought her the house as a gift.

Thompson's attorney, Godfrey Pinder, has said the house was on loan to Smith. He said Smith's death meant her claims to the mansion were no longer legitimate.

Munroe, standing beside Pinder outside the home as he spoke, said the former Playboy playmate bought the mansion in July for $900,000. Her ownership of the home was the basis of Smith's claim to residency in the Bahamas. Smith had filed a lawsuit asking a Bahamas court to recognize her purchase and reject Thompson's claim to the house.

The Bahamas Supreme Court has scheduled a Feb. 26 hearing on the matter, Munroe said.

The cause of Smith's death has not yet been determined. Broward County medical examiner Dr. Joshua Perper, who performed an autopsy on Friday, said afterward it could take weeks to determine why she died. He said no illegal drugs were discovered in Smith's room at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel and Casino in Hollywood, Fla. where she collapsed Thursday. But prescription drugs were found.

Smith's 5-month-old baby, Dannielynn Hope Marshall Stern, was not with Smith when she died and is believed to be in the Bahamas. But the exact whereabouts of the baby, who is at the center of a broadening custody battle, were unknown Saturday.

Munroe said he did not know where the child was but stressed that Howard K. Stern, Smith's most recent companion, is due custody of the baby. A birth certificate for Dannielynn lists Stern as the girl's father.

"As the other registered parent, Howard Stern has the right to speak to the custody of Dannielynn. That has to be respected unless and until a court — not a person — says otherwise," Munroe said.

Witnesses reported seeing Stern inside the mansion with TV crews shortly before the attorneys spoke to reporters, and Munroe confirmed that he was in Nassau. Several SUVS with black-tinted windows exited the grounds earlier.

Pinder said earlier that Bahamian Immigration Minister Shane Gibson's mother was permitted into the waterfront home late Friday to remove some of Smith's personal effects. The government official was a friend of Smith's.

The baby's paternity has been challenged by two other men.

A former boyfriend, Larry Birkhead, has filed suit claiming he is the father. On Friday, Prince Frederic von Anhalt, the husband of actress Zsa Zsa Gabor, announced he had a decade-long affair with Smith and may be the father.

Smith was in a long legal battle over the fortune of her late husband, Texas oil tycoon J. Howard Marshall II, and experts say the decision on custody could determine the child's inheritance.

Smith's mother, Vergie Arthur, arrived Friday in Nassau to check on the welfare of her granddaughter, police said. Arthur could not be reached for comment Saturday.

On Friday, she told ABC's "Good Morning America" that she believes drugs played a role in her daughter's death.

Smith gave birth to Dannielynn on Sept. 7. Three days later, her 20-year-old son, Daniel Smith, died while visiting her in the hospital. The cause of his death is still under investigation in the Bahamas. A private medical examiner hired by the family concluded he died from an accidental, lethal combination of methadone and antidepressants.

So it's 3 guys saying that he's the father of her baby.

1) Howard Stern
2) Frederick Prinz von Anhalt
3) Some Other Guy

Now this guy has had a relationship with her too. I'm starting to think that maybe, just maybe, nah.

Bad Things Knocking On The Door

I never was a big fan of hers but I thought she was funny when she never meant to be.

Having a child and then losing another and then dying yourself is a life nobody should have. Especially so close together.

Here's the story from the news:

HOLLYWOOD, Fla. - Anna Nicole Smith, the pneumatic blonde whose life played out as an extraordinary tabloid tale — Playboy centerfold, jeans model, bride of an octogenarian oil tycoon, reality-show subject, tragic mother — died Thursday after collapsing at a hotel. She was 39.

She was stricken while staying at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel and Casino and was rushed to a hospital. Edwina Johnson, chief investigator for the Broward County Medical Examiner's Office, said the cause of death was under investigation and an autopsy would be done on Friday.

Just five months ago, Smith's 20-year-old son, Daniel, died suddenly in the Bahamas in what was believed to be drug-related.

Seminole Police Chief Charlie Tiger said a private nurse called 911 after finding Smith unresponsive in her sixth-floor room at the hotel, which is on an Indian reservation. He said Smith's bodyguard administered CPR, but she was declared dead at a hospital.

Through the '90s and into the new century, Smith was famous for being famous, a pop-culture punchline because of her up-and-down weight, her Marilyn Monroe looks, her exaggerated curves, her little-girl voice, her ditzy-blonde persona, and her over-the-top revealing outfits.

Recently, she lost a reported 69 pounds and became a spokeswoman for TrimSpa, a weight-loss supplement. On her reality show and other recent TV appearances, her speech was often slurred and she seemed out of it. Some critics said she seemed drugged-out.

"Undoubtedly it will be found at the end of the day that drugs featured in her death as they did in the death of poor Daniel," said a former attorney for Smith in the Bahamas, Michael Scott.

Another former Smith attorney, Lenard Leeds, told the celebrity gossip Web site TMZ that Smith "always had problems with her weight going up and down, and there's no question she used alcohol." Leeds said it was no secret that "she had a very troubled life" and had "so many, many problems."

"She wanted to be like Marilyn her whole life and ironically died in a similar manner," Leeds said. Monroe died of a drug overdose at age 36 in 1962.

Smith attorney Ron Rale told The Associated Press that he had talked to her on Tuesday or Wednesday, and she had flu symptoms and a fever and was still grieving over her son.

"Poor Anna Nicole," he said. "She's been the underdog. She's been besieged ... and she's been trying her best and nobody should have to endure what she's endured."

The Texas-born Smith was a topless dancer at strip club before she entered her photos in a search contest and made the cover of Playboy magazine in 1992. She became Playboy's playmate of the year in 1993. She was also signed to a contract with Guess jeans, appearing in TV commercials, billboards and magazine ads.

In 1994, she married 89-year-old oil tycoon J. Howard Marshall II, owner of Great Northern Oil Co. In 1992, Forbes magazine estimated his wealth at $550 million.

In a 2005 interview with ABC, Smith recalled meeting Marshall at what she called a "gentleman's club' in Houston. "He had no will to live and I went over to see him," she said. "He got a little twinkle in his eyes, and he asked me to dance for him. And I did."

Marshall died in 1995 at age 90, setting off a feud with Smith's former stepson, E. Pierce Marshall, over his estate. A federal court in California awarded Smith $474 million. That was later overturned. But in May, the U.S. Supreme Court revived her case, ruling that she deserved another day in court.

The stepson died June 20 at age 67. But the family said the court fight would continue.

Smith starred in her own reality TV series, "The Anna Nicole Show," in 2002-04. Cameras followed her around as she sparred with her lawyer, hung out with her personal assistant and interior decorator, and cooed at her poodle, Sugar Pie. She also appeared in movies, performing a bit part in "The Hudsucker Proxy" in 1994.

After news came of Smith's death, G. Eric Brunstad Jr., the lawyer who represented Marshall, said in a statement: "We're very shocked by the news and extend the deepest condolences to her family."

In a statement, Playboy founder Hugh Hefner said: "I am very saddened to learn about Anna Nicole's passing. She was a dear friend who meant a great deal to the Playboy family and to me personally."

Smith's son died Sept. 10 in his mother's hospital room in the Bahamas, just days after she gave birth to a daughter.

An American medical examiner hired by the family, Cyril Wecht, said he died accidentally of a combination of methadone and two antidepressants. Last month, a Bahamas magistrate scheduled a formal inquiry into the death for March 27.

Meanwhile, the paternity of Smith's now 5-month-old daughter remained a matter of dispute. The birth certificate lists Dannielynn's father as attorney Howard K. Stern, Smith's most recent companion. Smith's ex-boyfriend Larry Birkhead was waging a legal challenge, saying he was the father.

Debra Opri, the attorney who filed his paternity suit, said Birkhead "is devastated. He is inconsolable, and we are taking steps now to protect the DNA testing of the child. The child is our No. 1 priority."

Smith was born Vickie Lynn Hogan on Nov. 28, 1967, in Houston, one of six children. Her parents split up when she was a toddler, and she was raised by her mother, a deputy sheriff.

She dropped out after 11th grade after she was expelled for fighting, and worked as a waitress and then a cook at Jim's Krispy Fried Chicken restaurant in Mexia.

She married 16-year-old fry cook Bill Smith in 1985, giving birth to Daniel before divorcing two years later.

Astronaut Wears Diaper To A Kidnapping

And yes, she peed her pants........Oh The Humanity!

Feel free to scroll to the bottom of this post to play the video "I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)" from The Proclaimers while reading.

Here's the story!

ORLANDO, Fla. - An astronaut drove 900 miles and donned a disguise to confront a woman she believed was her rival for the affections of a space shuttle pilot, police said. She was arrested Monday and charged with attempted kidnapping and other counts.

U.S. Navy Capt. Lisa Nowak, 43, who flew last July on a shuttle mission to the international space station, was also charged with attempted vehicle burglary with battery, destruction of evidence and battery. She was denied bail.

Police said Nowak drove from her home in Houston to the Orlando International Airport to confront Colleen Shipman.

Nowak believed Shipman was romantically involved with Navy Cmdr. William Oefelein, a pilot during space shuttle Discovery's trip to the space station last December, police said.

Nowak told police that her relationship with Oefelein was "more than a working relationship but less than a romantic relationship," according to an arrest affidavit. Police officers recovered a love letter to Oefelein in her car.

NASA spokesman James Hartsfield in Houston said that, as of Monday, Nowak's status with the astronaut corps remained unchanged.

"What will happen beyond that, I will not speculate," he said.

Hartsfield said he couldn't recall the last time an astronaut was arrested and said there were no rules against fraternizing among astronauts.

When she found out that Shipman was flying to Orlando from Houston, Nowak decided to confront her, according to the arrest affidavit. Nowak raced from Houston to Orlando wearing diapers so she wouldn't have to stop to urinate, authorities said.

Astronauts wear diapers during launch and re-entry.

Dressed in a wig and a trench coat, Nowak boarded an airport bus that Shipman took to her car in an airport parking lot. Shipman told police she noticed someone following her, hurried inside the car and locked the doors, according to the arrest affidavit.

Nowak rapped on the window, tried to open the car door and asked for a ride. Shipman refused but rolled down the car window a few inches when Nowak started crying. Nowak then sprayed a chemical into Shipman's car, the affidavit said.

Shipman drove to the parking lot booth, and the police were called.

During a check of the parking lot, an officer followed Nowak and watched her throw away a bag containing the wig and BB gun. They also found a steel mallet, a 4-inch folding knife, rubber tubing, $600 and garbage bags inside a bag Nowak was carrying when she was arrested, authorities said.

Inside Nowak's vehicle, which was parked at a nearby motel, authorities uncovered a pepper spray package, an unused BB-gun cartridge, latex gloves and e-mails between Shipman and Oefelein. They also found a letter "that indicated how much Mrs. Nowak loved Mr. Oefelein," an opened package for a buck knife, Shipman's home address and hand written directions to the address, the arrest affidavit said.

Police said Nowak told them that she only wanted to scare Shipman into talking to her about her relationship with Oefelein and didn't want to harm her physically.

"If you were just going to talk to someone, I don't know that you would need a wig, a trench coat, an air cartridge BB gun and pepper spray," said Sgt. Barbara Jones, a spokeswoman for the Orlando Police Department. "It's just really a very sad case. ... Now she ends up finding herself on the other side of the law with some very serious charges."

If convicted of attempted kidnapping, Nowak could face a maximum of life in prison.

It was not immediately known whether Nowak had an attorney.

Oefelein and Shipman did not immediately return phone messages Monday night.

According to NASA's official biography, Nowak is married with three children. During her 13-day mission in July she operated the robotic arm during three spacewalks.

Oefelein is unmarried. He piloted the space shuttle Discovery in December. He has two children, according to a NASA biography.

Nowak and Oefelein were both first-time fliers during their shuttle missions last year. They trained together but never flew together.

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Where do I begin, uh, yes, she drove over 900 miles, in a diaper, with a wig, a bb gun, a map, rubber tubing, $600, garbage bags, and other useless shit. But she forgot one thing, her dignity. She must've left that in her Wonder Woman outfit in the Bat Cave with Goofy. WTF! Good to see that good ol' NASA training is working out great for people. Where else would she get the idea to wear a diaper to take a piss instead of actually stopping at an actual rest stop to do it? It's genius! Why should I have to go to the bathroom in a stall when I can go shitty and piss crazy in my pants! I'm going to stop now because I seem to be getting dumbererest as I write about this.

Saddam Hungsein

Isn't that supposed to be Bin Laden? Guess we have to kill somebody.

Words From A Bum: Got money?

It's January 8, 2007. With new years come great responsibility or some shit like that.

With a president who can't tell the difference between a laptop and a lapdance, you get dumb results in reasons. But I know you heard it all before so I'm not going to bore you. Do you think it's fair that the government spends millions of dollars on useless things like:

The American Competitiveness Initiative

The plan costs $136 billion over 10 years. The plan calls for hiring 70,000 high school teachers to teach Advanced Placement courses in math and science, hiring 30,000 math and science professionals to teach in classrooms, and providing early help to students who struggle with math. I'm no expert but spending 136 billion on teachers we already have seems to be a waist of money. Do people even go to college to be teachers anymore? To me, the government makes it look like Beavis and Butthead are the futures of the US. Beavis has already made president and Dick "Gun Shooting In The Face" Butthead is the vice president.

Then we have Mr. Jaffer, USPS

Given a staff of 160 people with a $20 million budget. He would go out to restaurants and order all he wanted spending sometimes $1000+ on food/beverage. How much can one man eat? Not even Monica Lewinsky's fat ass would eat that much in a day. And even the meeting with the WB execs was expensive. What the hell would the USPS need with the WB? A BJ in NYC with the YWCA and YMCA?

Well I have to go now. I think I want to invest millions of the tax payers money on glow-in-the-dark pancakes.