He's A Lover of Ass

Damn cameraman! Now it looks like I'm fucking the dog!

Stare And Listen

Sometimes being in the middle of nowhere with no worries and no problems is just what the mind needs to relax from all the bullshit of the world everyday.

http://www.videocodezone.com/videos/0-9/311/love_song_270193.asx

My Very Excellent Mother Just Sent Us Nine....nine what?

I guess we'll never know.

Maybe, "My Very Eager Mother Just Sent Us Neurofibromatoses"

All these years and failing those damn planet tests because I forgot Pluto! I want my F+ back! We need a superhero to bring Pluto back.
























What's the big deal anyways? We actually have a place that tells us what you classify as planets? Either way, if Pluto crashed into Earth we'll be all dead. F U scientists!

You Internet Whore You!

In my opinion I think people are getting too Internet friendly. People are living their lives only by the Internet.

1)Buying food online and having it delivered.

2)Buying music online so they don't have to even get up.

3)Renting movies online or downloading them.

4)Blogging about their lives, (I only use the Internet for that)

5)Planning trips using the Internet

Before you know it people are going to have the Internet wipe their own ass for them so they don't even have to get out of bed. That's why America is getting fatter because we want everything easy and fast. Can I get a amen! I'm just waiting for hookers to use the Internet instead of walking the streets. The day a hooker uses a computer to pick up people will be the day I give up on life as I know it.

Come on people. Drop the mouse and get a life before all you see is your ninth double chin whenever you look down. This is your life America. Are you lovin' it?

If I Had 2 Penises

A guy is getting one of his 2 penises removed so he could lead a normal sex life. Whatever, I'd keep both penises and marry two women. That would be sweet. Having sex with 2 women with both my penises. I'd be in heaven. Brings new meaning to being double penetrated. I'd even probably try and get a third penis so I can have sex with 3 women at the same time. Since I already have 3 penises I might as well get penis fingers. Hell just turn me into a giant dick and I'll be happy.

Here's the story.

NEW DELHI (Reuters) - An Indian businessman born with two penises wants one of them removed surgically as he wants to marry and lead a normal sexual life, a newspaper report said Saturday.

The 24-year-old man from the northern state of Uttar Pradesh admitted himself to a New Delhi hospital this week with an extremely rare medical condition called penile duplication or diphallus, the Times of India said.

"Two fully functional penis is unheard of even in medical literature. In the more common form of diphallus, one organ is rudimentary," the newspaper quoted a surgeon as saying.

The surgery was expected to be challenging as both organs were well-formed and full blood supply to the retained penis had to be ensured to allow it to function normally, he added.

The newspaper did not disclose the identity of the man or the hospital to protect the patient's privacy.

There are about 100 such reported cases of diphallus around the world and it is known to occur among one in 5.5 million men, the newspaper said.

It is caused by the failure of the mesodermal bands in the embryo to fuse properly. The mesodermal bands are one of three primary layers of the embryo from which several body parts are formed.

The World Is One Giant Shitter

Let's celebrate by doing nothing about it every single day!

No More Drinking On Airplanes While Brushing Your Teeth

Loads of liquid goods discarded by airline passengers at security checkpoints
will end up in the trash, not in the pockets of airport employees or others,
officials at airports across the country promised Friday.

All liquids, except medicine and baby formula verified as authentic, Food bought at airport, Handbags, All electrical and battery-powered items, including laptop computers, mobile phones and iPods, Electric key fobs, Wheelchairs, except those provided by airport, Cigarette Lighters, scissors, Aerosol Containers, Any bag larger than 14" wide x 13" high x 4" deep, Food or beverages of any kind.

Might as well go to the airport naked already full of food. Before you know it you won't be allowed to talk unless you raise your hand.

Bush and Cheny in High School - Year 1829