Call Me Christmas

Out of all the last names to have. Why Christmas? And why name one of them Mary? Here's the story.

GAINESVILLE, Ga. - Don't bother making jokes. This family has heard them all. No, they don't communicate directly with Santa Claus. They don't celebrate the holidays year-round, and they certainly have some not-so-cheerful days. The smirks and the wisecracks are just part of life when your last name is Christmas, and especially so when two of your family members are named — no joke — Mary.

"People ask me all the time, `What were your parents thinking?'" said the younger Mary Christmas, 30. "I never minded. It's a conversation piece."

It all started on Christmas Day 1935, when the elder Mary wedded Henry Christmas, becoming Mary Christmas. They had Bob Christmas, who married Peggy and had six children.

Mary was born first and named for her grandmother. The spirit of the season took hold again when Christy Noel, now 23, was born in December.

And it doesn't end there. Bob's brother married Cathy Holiday, and they had a daughter named Carol. And Bob's sister married into the White family, becoming Jeane Christmas White.

The Christmas family lives up to its cheerful name. They are a lively bunch, finishing each other's sentences and laughing at a constant stream of jokes.

"You can tell we're a happy family," said the elder Mary Christmas, who is 90.

So what is Christmas like at the Christmases'?

Christmas Eve involves a family dinner, a church service, the reading of the Christmas story from the Bible and then one gift per family member. The children — ranging in age from 12 to 30 — build forts in the living room out of blankets and furniture and fall asleep watching Christmas movies. Christmas Day includes a big family brunch with biscuits and gravy, and a Christmas dinner.

The Christmas children agree that the only time their last name gets old is roll call at school. Many of them roll their eyes and groan at the thought.

"The first day of the semester in college, I was like, `Here we go,'" said the younger Mary, who graduated from Liberty University in Lynchburg, Va., where one of her professors made her stand up in front of a large lecture hall full of students when he saw her name on the class list.

Peggy said the name keeps her on her toes.

"When you're out shopping and things, you make sure you're not grumpy or rude to someone who's helping you because in the end when you go to pay, they see your name is Christmas," she said.

They also embrace their holiday heritage. The younger Mary's e-mail address begins with "jinglebells."

(In truth, the younger Mary goes by the name T.C., from her middle name, Theresa. And when she was a little girl, her mother sent her off to kindergarten as Theresa, for fear the other kids would tease her. But it doesn't take long for others to find out her jolly first name.)

Despite the lighthearted way the Christmases talk about their name, they take it very seriously, too.

"It would be my goal that our lives as a family exemplify not just the birth of Christ, but the life of Christ," said Robby, 28.

With that, he was met with a chorus of amens from the rest of the Christmases.

Merry Christmas

I know it's been hard since he went away. You sit at home looking out the window hoping he'd come back someday. But he won't. Not this Christmas and not the next. You'll never see him again because he died while trying to save all of us. But know that always when you think your without, know that you are always within the heart of somebody that still cares. Merry Christmas and try not to hold a grudge against the people he was fighting. They are wondering the same thing. And a little boy is mourning the death of a father just like you, or a mother or even their entire family. For them, they have nobody else. They'll grow up just like you and have hatred for a complete stranger just like you. You won't know each other but you will hate each others guts. And the cycle will continue until the end of time.

Perhaps the story was that your father was fighting the other child's father and somehow they both got killed. The siblings of each family swore revenge on the people responsible. You both grew up with hate and made your life into this giant ball of evil. You decide to go overseas to fight in the name of your father. The other child trains to be a suicide bomber. Somehow in 1 in a million chance, you both meet unknowingly overseas on the same ground your fathers died many years ago. You hate this person and that person hates you but neither of you have done any wrong until you reach for your gun and he reaches for his switch to set off the suicide bomb. You both have nothing to live for so dying would be the easy way to escape the pain. But somehow fate intervened and the gun will not shoot and the bomb will not explode. Coincidence? Maybe, or could be both fathers not wanting the same fate for their own children. Merry Christmas little Bobby Jo and Saalam.

I Heart "Heart Attack Grill"

TEMPE, Ariz. - The Heart Attack Grill — a theme restaurant whose specialties include the Quadruple Bypass Burger and Flatliner Fries, cooked in pure lard — is making health-care professionals' blood pressure rise, and not because of the menu.

It is because of the waitresses' naughty nurse uniforms.

The waitresses wear skimpy, cleavage-baring outfits, high heels and thigh-high stockings — a male fantasy that some nursing organizations say is an insult to the profession.

Several nurses have complained to the Arizona attorney general's office, and a national nursing group has repeatedly asked Heart Attack Grill owner Jon Basso to stop using the outfits.

"Nurses are the most sexually fantasized-about profession," said Sandy Summers, executive director of the Center for Nursing Advocacy, based in Baltimore. "We're asking people, if they're going to have these fantasies, please don't make it so public. Move these sexual fantasies to other professions."

Basso shrugs off Summers' complaints, and refers to her and her supporters as prudes, cranks and lunatics.

"If anything, I think it glorifies nurses to be thought of as a physically attractive and desirable individual," Basso said. "There's a Faye Dunaway, Florence Nightingale hipness to it. Nobody wants to think of themselves as some old battle ax who changes bedpans for a living."

The most serious complaint Basso has faced was made to the Arizona attorney general's office by the state Board of Nursing. In September, the attorney general's office wrote Basso a letter informing him that he is illegally using the word "nurse" at his restaurant and on his Web site. Citing Arizona Statute A.R.S. 32-1636, the attorney general said only someone who has a valid nursing license can use the title "nurse."

Basso refused to remove "nurse" from his Web site but inserted an asterisk next to every nurse reference and included the following disclaimer:

"The use of the word `nurse' above is only intended as a parody. None of the women pictured on our Web site actually have any medical training, nor do they attempt to provide any real medical services. It should be made clear that the Heart Attack Grill and its employees do NOT offer any therapeutic treatments (aside from laughter) whatsoever."

The attorney general's office sent a follow-up letter on Nov. 22 saying the Web site cleared up the issue, and it was resolved.

Basso said the complaints have been good for business, "all they've done is ensure there's going to be a gajillion of these all over the country."

The Heart Attack Grill opened a year ago with a Hooters-like formula of red meat and sexy waitresses. Diners choose from among four cheeseburgers: the Single, Double, Triple and Quadruple Bypass. The Quadruple is a towering monstrosity with four half-pound beef patties, four pieces of cheese and a mound of bacon.

"Essentially, it's nutritional pornography. It's so bad for you it's shocking," Basso said.

If "patients," as customers are called, finish a triple or quadruple bypass, waitresses will push them out to their cars in wheelchairs at no additional charge.

"The service is fantastic," Steve Koebensky of Scottsdale said with a snicker. "But they're overly dressed."

Phoenix resident Amanda Price, one of the few women customers at the restaurant, said the outfits did not offend her. "You don't hear nuns complaining about pregnant nun costumes, and that's more disgraceful than sexy nurses," she said.

But Scottsdale nurse Kira Wilder, who contributed to the letter-writing campaign against the Heart Attack Grill, complained: "Why do they have to denigrate the nursing profession and sexualize nursing? It's just not necessary."

Courtney Chapman, a 20-year-old waitress at the grill, said she found nothing wrong with the uniform or the stares she gets.

"They definitely look at us, but they're guys," she said. "If our butts are coming out the bottom of our skirts, and our boobs are coming out the top of our shirts, we're kind of asking for it."

I Vote Yay For Smack

With drugs all around for kids to get, you kind of wonder what you can do as a parent to stop it. I have the answer. There is no answer. Drugs will forever be here so you might as well stop sheltering your kid and let him/her grow and see the harsh reality themselves instead of you telling them about it.

A Lady Farts And Forces A Plane Down - True Story

NASHVILLE, Tenn. - It is considered polite to light a match after passing gas. Not while on a plane.

An American Airlines flight was forced to make an emergency landing Monday morning after a passenger lit a match to disguise the scent of flatulence, authorities said.

The Dallas-bound flight was diverted to Nashville after several passengers reported smelling burning sulfur from the matches, said Lynne Lowrance, spokeswoman for the Nashville International Airport Authority. All 99 passengers and five crew members were taken off and screened while the plane was searched and luggage was screened.

The FBI questioned a passenger who admitted she struck the matches in an attempt to conceal a "body odor," Lowrance said. She had an unspecified medical condition, authorities said.

"It's humorous in a way but you feel sorry for the individual, as well," she said. "It's unusual that someone would go to those measures to cover it up."

The flight took off again, but the woman was not allowed back on the plane. The woman, who was not identified, was not charged in the incident.

Chicks fart flowers and fresh spring air. Not this chick. I couldn't show my face again. She blamed it on a medical condition, HA HA HA HA! Now that's classic.

Eat A Baby, Save A Cow

For The Love of PETA

Heaven Beside You

Walking from a distance, an old man see's a light on the highest rock on the highest mountain. He walks up the rocky snowy mountain to see the light that was in the distance is beginning to fade. He rushes to it before it fades away. He finally reaches the rock and notices a bright object that he can not see. He goes closer to investigate. He reaches in the little hole where this bright object is located to see if it's hot. It's as cold as ice. He wraps it in cloth and picks it up and runs down the mountain. The ground begins to crumble behind him. He runs faster and faster until he reaches the bottom of the mountain. The bright object that he can not see is still in hand so he continues to go back to his village. He goes in the darkest room of the darkest village to read the bright object he picked up from the highest rock on the highest mountain. The object is too bright still. He asked a fellow elder how he can read this. The elder told him to go in the lowest village in the lowest valley for an answer. The old man follows the directions and reaches the valley within days. He meets with another elder. The old man tells the elder that he's from the darkest room from the darkest valley and that he picked up an object from the highest rock on the highest mountain and wanted to know what the explanation of this object. The elder tells him to follow the longest steepest trail down to the foggy valley and drop it in the water to uncover the truth of the object. The old man follows the instructions and goes to foggy valley. Once there, the old man notices 3 bridges down to the bottom of the foggy valley. He must decide which bridge he should take but he can't tell which one is the right one. He see's an elder and asks for directions. He tells the elder that he is from the darkest valley and that he found an object on the highest rock on the highest mountain. And that an elder from the lowest village in the lowest valley told him to come here. The elder asks to look at this object. The old man opens the cloth to show the elder the object. The elder is blinded by the bright object. He tells the old man to follow the 3rd bridge to the bottom of the foggy valley. "There" he said "will be the answer to your question. The old man goes down the 3rd bridge. He can't see anything but he continues to go down it. The bridge seems to be going forever but feels like he's going up. The sun is becoming more and more noticeable as minutes becomes hours and hours become days. Then out of nowhere, a big gust of wind blows through the foggy valley. The fog is no more. The old man looks around him and see's the bridge with no beginning and no ending. He walks a little further and the object in his hand gets darker. He's almost able to read it. He runs faster so he can read it further. He reads "It is..." on the object but he can't read the rest. He runs again and notices the end of the bridge. He can see that it ends but he can't see what it is connected to. He walks to the edge and looks down to nothing. He looks behind him and see's nothing. He tries to grab the rope of the bridge but it has also disappeared. He looks up to the heavens and see's nothing. He looks at the object and notices that he can read what it says.

It is your time to die old man, Heaven Beside You.

Bush Going For His Bachelor's At Hogwarts School of Magic

Smell That? I Smell Bullshit!

The Gloves Made Me Do It!



OJ "Killer" Simpson is doing a special on "If I Did It, Here's How It Happened". I can't believe this shit. If you claim you are so innocent, why in the hell would you do a special on how you would kill somebody that you "didn't" kill? I don't fucking know, here's the damn story below.

LOS ANGELES - Fox plans to broadcast an interview with O.J. Simpson in which the former football star discusses "how he would have committed" the slayings of his ex-wife and her friend, for which he was acquitted, the network said.

The two-part interview, titled "O.J. Simpson: If I Did It, Here's How It Happened," will air Nov. 27 and Nov. 29, the TV network said.

Simpson has agreed to an "unrestricted" interview with book publisher Judith Regan, Fox said.

"O.J. Simpson, in his own words, tells for the first time how he would have committed the murders if he were the one responsible for the crimes," the network said in a statement. "In the two-part event, Simpson describes how he would have carried out the murders he has vehemently denied committing for over a decade."

The interview will air days before Simpson's new book, "If I Did It," goes on sale Nov. 30. The book, published by Regan, "hypothetically describes how the murders would have been committed."

In a video clip on the network's Web site, an off-screen interviewer says to Simpson, "You wrote 'I have never seen so much blood in my life.'"

"I don't think any two people could be murdered without everybody being covered in blood," Simpson responds.

Simpson, who now lives in Florida, was acquitted in a criminal trial of the 1994 killings of his ex-wife, Nicole Brown Simpson, and her friend Ronald Goldman. Simpson was later found liable in 1997 in a wrongful death lawsuit filed by the Goldman family.

Messages left with Simpson and his attorney Yale Galanter were not immediately returned.

Mario Fan

I picked up my brother's old games and started playing them. I'm now hooked on Super Mario Brothers. I can't believe this is so cool!

Crotch Rocket Gone Wrong

How can a fool proof idea go wrong?! Here's how:

LONDON (AFP) - A man was rushed to hospital in Britain with severe internal injuries after trying to launch a powerful firework from his bottom, an ambulance service spokesman said.

It is thought that the 22-year-old could have been trying to imitate a scene from "Jackass: The Movie", a controversial film featuring a series of edgy pranks.

Footage of the incident in Sunderland, north-east England, was captured on a mobile phone by a gang of youths and shows a white flash followed by hysterical laughter and a youth shouting: "Ha ha ha ha," followed by an expletive.

A spokesman for the North East ambulance service said: "We received a call stating there was a male who had a firework in his bottom and it was bleeding."

He is now recovering in a Sunderland hospital after sustaining internal injuries including a scorched colon.

The incident took place on November 5, when Britons light bonfires and let off fireworks to commemorate a 17th century plot to blow up the Houses of Parliament.

The video will appear on the internet in no time so until then:

Too Much Bad News To Tell

There is too much bad news in the news today. So I decided to post this instead of a story.

Naked Man Arrested For Concealed Weapon

EL CERRITO, Calif. - A man was arrested on suspicion of carrying a concealed weapon after police found him outdoors — naked — and he told them he had a tool in his rectum, authorities said.

The man was lying on a tree stump, masturbating beside a nature path, near a Bay Area Rapid Transit station Thursday, police said.

John Sheehan, 33, of Pittsburg, was initially arrested on suspicion of indecent exposure. But when asked whether he was carrying anything police should know about, Sheehan mentioned the tool, said El Cerrito Detective Cpl. Don Horgan.

"You can't get much more concealed than that," Horgan said.

Officers drew their weapons and firefighters were called to the scene. Sheehan removed a 6-inch metal awl wrapped in black electrical tape without incident.

Sheehan, who was paroled from state prison last week, was then booked into jail on suspicion of parole violations, indecent exposure and one felony count of possessing a concealed weapon.

"When you're talking about an awl or an ice pick and you're dealing with somebody who's fresh out of prison, it's a weapon. That's a stabbing instrument," Horgan said.

It was not immediately clear what Sheehan was on parole for. A person answering the phone at the jail Friday night did not know whether Sheehan had a lawyer.

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I would give one of my famous quotes but the story does it all for me already. All I have to say is WTF?

Goodyear to cut 1,100 jobs

AKRON, Ohio - Goodyear Tire & Rubber Co. said on Monday that it plans to close a plant in Tyler, Texas, despite a strike by workers who were upset about the tire maker's plan to shut down the factory.

The move will eliminate about 1,100 jobs and is part of Goodyear's strategy to end some of its private label tire business.

The plant, which opened in 1962, has produced approximately 25,000 passenger and light truck tires per day.

More than 12,000 United Steelworkers members in Tyler and 15 other plants in North America went on strike Oct. 5 after months of talks with the world's third biggest tire maker. No new talks have been scheduled.

The United Steelworkers, which represents Goodyear workers, said the announcement to close the Tyler plant was a slap in the face, particularly because the union took pay cuts, job losses and other concessions in 2000 to help get the company back on track financially.

"Now they seem committed to stripping away health care benefits from those who made the turnaround possible and to further close plants and abandon the business," said Tom Conway, USW vice president and chairman of the Goodyear negotiating team. "Their foolishness is outweighed only by their greed."

Goodyear has said the union refused to agree to help it remain competitive in a global economy. The union said the company's last proposal would have included two plant closings — the union says the other is in Gadsden, Ala. — and other concessions.

Goodyear said in June that it wanted to leave parts of the private label tire business and that the decision would mean a reduction in capacity. The company refused to name specific plants.

Goodyear previously announced to investors an aggressive strategy to reduce costs by more than $1 billion by 2008.

"We must take the steps necessary to reduce our costs and improve our competitive position," Jon Rich, president of North American Tire, said in a statement. "While this is an extremely difficult decision for everyone involved, it was required to help turn around our North American business."

He did not say when the plant will close.

At the company's headquarters in Akron, where union members have been keeping around-the-clock picket lines, strikers huddled around barrel fires for warmth said they were saddened by the closing announcement but not surprised.

"If they're closing that plant I'm sorry to hear it. You don't want to lose any jobs," said Frank Parravani, a 39-year employee who stood near about a dozen headstones made out of wood with the names of Goodyear plants on them, including Tyler, Gadsden and others.

The Tyler plant mostly makes small passenger tires, a segment that has been under considerable pressure from low cost imports.

Officials in Tyler, a city of about 84,000 people 100 miles east of Dallas, have been afraid of losing one of the area's largest employers. The city recently presented Goodyear with a $12 million incentive plan to keep the plant running.

Goodyear expects the Tyler closing to save it approximately $50 million a year after taxes. The closing will result in a restructuring charge of between $155 million and $165 million, with the cash portion of the charges estimated to be between $40 million and $50 million, the company said.

Goodyear shares rose 22 cents, or 1.47 percent, to close at $15.18 on the New York Stock Exchange. Shares have been trading between $9.75 and $19.31 over the last year.
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Guess it's not gonna be a good year after all

Wrong Place Right Time

Sometimes being in the right place at the right time is bad......

Who's Starbuck's Bitch?

Starbucks is bullying, accuse me, denies bullying the poor ol country of Ethiopia over beans.

Ethiopia has applied to trademark its most famous coffee names, Sidamo, Harar and Yirgacheffe, enabling it to capture more value from trade, control their use and allow farmers to receive a greater share of the retail price.

What's really in a name? Couldn't they just change the "Sidamo" to "Sadamo", kind of reminds of somebody from Iraq. Or perhaps "Harar" to "Horror" or "Yirgacheffe" to "Viagra Chef". I don't know about you but I'm in the mood for some Sadamo coffee right now and some Viagra Chef to get me to sleep.

New World Order!

With wars and murders going on, you just feel like nobody can save us from this world of hate. With a government being ran by toddlers looking for more power, things aren't getting any better no matter how they try to ruin it. The United States is worst now than it was before the Bush Era. Since we can't count on our own government to help us all, we have to look elsewhere.

Is there anybody that can help us? Falcons, where are you?

This is the gayest thing in the world.



I'm glad that the goverment is not the only one releasing dumb shit. The girl in the red, sexy.

I'm Going To Wheelchair Hell For This

Proof that anybody can get a girl.

LONDON - Renowned astrophysicist and best-selling author Stephen Hawking is getting a divorce, according to media reports Friday.

British newspapers reported he and his wife, Elaine, have lodged divorce papers at Cambridge County Court.

Graham Jones, the office manager at the court, said he could not comment on family cases.

Hawking's university spokeswoman, Judith Croasdell, declined to comment on the reports.

Hawking has been married to his wife, Elaine, 55, for 11 years. Hawking divorced in 1991 from his first wife, Jane, with whom he has three children.

The mathematics professor at the University of Cambridge has done groundbreaking work on black holes and the origins of the universe, making him one of the best-known theoretical physicists of his generation.

The 64-year-old scientist, author of the best seller "A Brief History of Time," is almost completely paralyzed by amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, or Lou Gehrig's disease. He communicates with the help of a voice synthesizer, which was designed by his wife's previous husband.

Or maybe not.

Are You Racist?

I can't feel the pain black err African Americans deal with but stuff like that just makes me feel bad. Buckwheat would never say that. That's the most racist quote ever! But its cracking me up!

I've never been a racist. I generally hate all people equally.

So next time you see racism, you stop that person and you tell them, "You are a racist asshole! You need to rethink the way you treat other people. You wouldn't want them to disrespect you would you?" O-Tay.

Silence Broken By Gas Leak

LONDON (AFP) - A suspect was slammed in the cells after he broke wind in a British court then burst out laughing about it.

Joseph Wildy let rip and refused to apologise after he had a fit of the giggles with his co-defendants on Tuesday.

However, magistrate Simon Bridge, sitting in Blackpool, on the northwest coast of England, was not amused by his interruption. He found Wildy in contempt of court and ordered him to be locked up.

After cooling off in the cells, Wildy returned to court 90 minutes later and apologised to Bridge.

"He was laughing in court, that's why he was found in contempt," said a court spokeswoman.

"It was for interrupting the proceedings by laughing, and then refusing to apologise."

Wildy pleaded not guilty to handling stolen goods and was bailed to reappear at a later date at the same court.

Kim Jong-il In: The Bomberman!

Ok, so he blew up a nuclear bomb underground and now the world is going crazy. Do you think he cares? He's doing this on purpose for attention. He is to North Korea as Paris Hilton is to the United States. He's the Paris Hilton of North Korea! Can't way to see him on The Simple Life with Bush.

No School Today

GEORGETOWN, Pa. - Dozens of Amish neighbors came out Saturday to mourn the quiet milkman who killed five of their young girls and wounded five more in a brief, unfathomable rampage.

Charles Carl Roberts IV, 32, was buried in his wife's family plot behind a small Methodist church, a few miles from the one-room schoolhouse he stormed Monday.

His wife, Marie, and their three small children looked on as Roberts was buried beside the pink, heart-shaped grave of the infant daughter whose death nine years ago apparently haunted him, said Bruce Porter, a fire department chaplain from Colorado who attended the service.

About half of perhaps 75 mourners on hand were Amish.

"It's the love, the forgiveness, the heartfelt forgiveness they have toward the family. I broke down and cried seeing it displayed," said Porter, who had come to Pennsylvania to offer what help he could. He said Marie Roberts was also touched.

"She was absolutely deeply moved, by just the love shown," Porter said.

Leaders of the local Amish community were gathering Saturday afternoon at a firehouse to decide the future of the schoolhouse, and of the school year itself.

The prevailing wisdom suggested a new school would be built.

"There will definitely be a new school built, but not on that property," said Mike Hart, a spokesman for the Bart Fire Company in Georgetown.

Roberts stormed the West Nickel Mines Amish School on Monday, releasing the 15 boys and four adults before tying up and shooting the 10 girls. Roberts, who had come armed with a shotgun, a handgun and a stun gun, then killed himself.

Roberts' suicide notes and last calls with his wife reveal a man tormented by memories — as yet unsubstantiated — of molesting two young relatives 20 years ago. He said he was also angry at God for the Nov. 14, 1997, death of the couple's first child, a girl named Elise Victoria who lived for just 20 minutes.

Hart is one of two non-Amish community members serving on a 10-member board that will decide how to distribute donations that have come in following the global news coverage. One stranger walked into the firehouse Saturday morning and dropped a $100 bill in the collection jar.

The condolences flowing into the Bart Post Office filled three large cartons on Saturday — two for the Amish children and one for the Roberts clan.

"(It's) envelopes, packages, food and a lot of cards," clerk Helena Salerno said.

More than $500,000 has been pledged, some of which is expected to cover medical costs for the five surviving girls. They remain hospitalized, and one is said to be in grave condition.

As the Sabbath Day approached, close friends expected to spend Sunday paying visits to the victims' families.

The funerals for the five slain girls — Marian Fisher, 13; Anna Mae Stoltzfus, 12; Naomi Rose Ebersol, 7, and sisters Mary Liz Miller, 8, and Lena Miller, 7 — were held Thursday and Friday.

One Amish woman, an aunt to the Miller girls, set out Saturday to retrieve some of the flowers dropped near the school and bring them to the families.

She was traveling on an Amish scooter and tried to balance two potted plants before going home and returning for the task with a child's small wagon.

The massacre sent out images to the world not only of the violence, but also of a little-known community that chooses to live an insular, agrarian way of life, shunning cars, electricity and other modern conveniences.

By Saturday, the hordes of satellite trucks and stand-up reporters had mostly left the country roads, and a semblance of routine returned. Early in the morning, Amish farmers hauled farm equipment past the boarded-up school.

"It was just getting to be too much," said Jane Kreider, a 48-year-old teacher's aide in Georgetown. "It was just, 'Get out of dodge, get out of our town and we'll pull together.'"

The Amish seem to really forgiving people. It's just sad that still most people in the United States are exteamly happy that he shot himself dead.

Smoking + Pumping Gas = Ignition

Police said the woman was pumping gas at a Race Trac near the University of Central Florida when a cigarette butt sparked the fire.

Flames burned the gas pump and set her car on fire.

"The car is virtually ruined," a fire official at the scene said. "(It happened) just by doing something stupid by smoking while fueling her car."

Signs near the gas pump said "no smoking."

The woman will not be ticketed for the incident, Local 6 News reported.

---------------------------------

Luckily this lady was not harmed BY THE FIRE SHE STARTED BY PUMPING GAS WHILE SMOKING A CIGARETTE! But what are the chances of this happening. They say no smoking but you really don't believe it until you're on fire.

What To Do And Not To Do In The Restroom

Who Will Save Us?

I bought some cereal today. It was good. Flipping through a porno mag I realized that we are seriously fucked at both ends. Unlike like the lady, we aren't being pleasured at all. Give us Americans a handjob Bush. We'll appreciate it.

She's A Smart One

Woman jogs
Woman hears animal in distress
Woman goes into the forest to help it
Woman falls down and sprangs her leg
Woman is now the animal in distress
Real animal in distress was a hungry bear
Woman eats berries and rainwater
Woman regrets trying to help animal
Woman starts a book club with fellow critters
Woman is rescued days later

Story Below:

Bonnie Graham told police she had been taking a walk on one of the paths that
runs through the wooded area between Witham Hill Drive and Harrison Boulevard
and was sitting on a bench in the dark when she heard a sound that she believed
to be an animal.

According to Officer Jim Zessin, Graham became
frightened and took off running into the woods. After a time, she twisted her
ankle and began crawling.

Ok I gotta pause for a minute here. You hear a sound coming from somewhere and you run into the woods for safety? Sounds like a making of good horror movie.

She eventually found her way into a tangle of
blackberries, where she stayed until Friday afternoon, when her cries for help
were heard by 19-year-old Trevor Heald.

Graham believed she had been in
the woods for three or four days, but according to police, Graham’s boyfriend
said he last saw her last Saturday. Police received a missing person report from
Graham’s boyfriend Friday morning.

Police estimate Graham is in her late
40s or early 50s, but could not confirm her age.

Officers were
astonished that Graham had made her way so far from any trail. She was found a
ways from any established bike or truck trail.

“I crawled 50 to 60 yards
on my hands and knees,” through a thicket of blackberries to get to Graham,
Zessin said.

Heald said he first heard Graham’s cries for help while he
was hiking, and following the sound of her voice, he established where she was
stuck, but couldn’t see her.

He didn’t have a cell phone, so he hurried
back home and called police to report that someone was injured in the brush.

Heald met Zessin back at the property, and led him to where he believed
Graham was.

“He did a great job,” Zessin said.

When Zessin
called out to Graham, her voice was so weak it sounded like a child’s. Zessin
was able to crawl through the blackberries to reach her.

“He valiantly
plowed through this tiny pathway,” Heald said as he pointed to a small tunnel in
the blackberries.

Police, paramedics and firefighters were called in to
extricate Graham from the brush. Because she was so far from any path, the
police and firefighters who first reached her had to place shirts, water bottles
and other indicators along the trail to lead the way.

It took saws, axes
and a lot of stomping to clear a path big enough to carry Graham through on a
backboard. As they waited for the path to be cleared, paramedics administered
fluids and pain medication, and Zessin and others kept her talking and made sure
she was alert.

“It was just a miracle that young fellow was hiking up
here to hear her,” said officer Steven Teeter, who helped lead firefighters to
Graham’s location, and who said there had been unconfirmed cougar sightings in
the area recently.

“That was my biggest fear, there were cougars. That’s
why we weren’t leaving until we found something or somebody.”

“I don’t
know how she got in there,” officer Avena Glock said.

She looked at the
hole where other officers had climbed through, evidenced by the bloody scratches
on Sgt. Michael Mann’s arms.

“It’s like Alice in Wonderland, crawling
through there,” Glock said.

When the path was finally cleared, and
paramedics were able to load Graham and carry her toward an ambulance parked
near the OSU poultry barns on Harrison Boulevard, everyone appeared relieved.

“Good job, Jim,” office Kyle Voll said to Zessin, who was also covered
in scratches, and, he feared, poison oak. Zessin said he could remember the last
time he’d been on a similar rescue mission.

“In the Marine Corps,” he
said dryly.

Bin Laden: The New Tomb Raider

I just heard that Bin Laden may be dead. It could be another publicty stunt for his latest movie/move. After such failed attempts at ruining the hate for him in the eyes of many, he still feels the need to come back or not. I can only confirm this though, he's still an asshole.

Holy Shit, Zelda Dances

Yeah, dancing always kills monsters on the games I play. Even though this is the dumbest thing I've seen today, I can't stop watching it.

In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida Baby

We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

Wait wait wait, after such a great year we are all having I found another use for the Constitution.

A Squirrel's Attempted Murder of an Opera Singer

Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha

Here's the story.

- A squirrel scampered into the bicycle wheel of an unlucky Finnish opera singer, causing him to fall, knock himself out and break his nose just ahead of the world premiere of a new opera.

Esa Ruuttunen was pedalling his way to the Helsinki Opera House last month when the squirrel ran into his spokes.

The singer ended up concussed and in a local hospital, rather than at his rehearsals for the Finnish opera Kaarmeen hetki (Hour of the Serpent), which opens on September 15.

"He is not yet singing in rehearsals, but thinks he will be able to perform at the world premiere," Finnish National Opera spokeswoman Heidi Almi told Reuters.

The squirrel died in the accident.

---------------------------------------
Rest in Peace little buddy. We'll miss ya.

He's A Lover of Ass

Damn cameraman! Now it looks like I'm fucking the dog!

Stare And Listen

Sometimes being in the middle of nowhere with no worries and no problems is just what the mind needs to relax from all the bullshit of the world everyday.

http://www.videocodezone.com/videos/0-9/311/love_song_270193.asx

My Very Excellent Mother Just Sent Us Nine....nine what?

I guess we'll never know.

Maybe, "My Very Eager Mother Just Sent Us Neurofibromatoses"

All these years and failing those damn planet tests because I forgot Pluto! I want my F+ back! We need a superhero to bring Pluto back.
























What's the big deal anyways? We actually have a place that tells us what you classify as planets? Either way, if Pluto crashed into Earth we'll be all dead. F U scientists!

You Internet Whore You!

In my opinion I think people are getting too Internet friendly. People are living their lives only by the Internet.

1)Buying food online and having it delivered.

2)Buying music online so they don't have to even get up.

3)Renting movies online or downloading them.

4)Blogging about their lives, (I only use the Internet for that)

5)Planning trips using the Internet

Before you know it people are going to have the Internet wipe their own ass for them so they don't even have to get out of bed. That's why America is getting fatter because we want everything easy and fast. Can I get a amen! I'm just waiting for hookers to use the Internet instead of walking the streets. The day a hooker uses a computer to pick up people will be the day I give up on life as I know it.

Come on people. Drop the mouse and get a life before all you see is your ninth double chin whenever you look down. This is your life America. Are you lovin' it?

If I Had 2 Penises

A guy is getting one of his 2 penises removed so he could lead a normal sex life. Whatever, I'd keep both penises and marry two women. That would be sweet. Having sex with 2 women with both my penises. I'd be in heaven. Brings new meaning to being double penetrated. I'd even probably try and get a third penis so I can have sex with 3 women at the same time. Since I already have 3 penises I might as well get penis fingers. Hell just turn me into a giant dick and I'll be happy.

Here's the story.

NEW DELHI (Reuters) - An Indian businessman born with two penises wants one of them removed surgically as he wants to marry and lead a normal sexual life, a newspaper report said Saturday.

The 24-year-old man from the northern state of Uttar Pradesh admitted himself to a New Delhi hospital this week with an extremely rare medical condition called penile duplication or diphallus, the Times of India said.

"Two fully functional penis is unheard of even in medical literature. In the more common form of diphallus, one organ is rudimentary," the newspaper quoted a surgeon as saying.

The surgery was expected to be challenging as both organs were well-formed and full blood supply to the retained penis had to be ensured to allow it to function normally, he added.

The newspaper did not disclose the identity of the man or the hospital to protect the patient's privacy.

There are about 100 such reported cases of diphallus around the world and it is known to occur among one in 5.5 million men, the newspaper said.

It is caused by the failure of the mesodermal bands in the embryo to fuse properly. The mesodermal bands are one of three primary layers of the embryo from which several body parts are formed.

The World Is One Giant Shitter

Let's celebrate by doing nothing about it every single day!

No More Drinking On Airplanes While Brushing Your Teeth

Loads of liquid goods discarded by airline passengers at security checkpoints
will end up in the trash, not in the pockets of airport employees or others,
officials at airports across the country promised Friday.

All liquids, except medicine and baby formula verified as authentic, Food bought at airport, Handbags, All electrical and battery-powered items, including laptop computers, mobile phones and iPods, Electric key fobs, Wheelchairs, except those provided by airport, Cigarette Lighters, scissors, Aerosol Containers, Any bag larger than 14" wide x 13" high x 4" deep, Food or beverages of any kind.

Might as well go to the airport naked already full of food. Before you know it you won't be allowed to talk unless you raise your hand.

Bush and Cheny in High School - Year 1829

It's The Statue of Liberty: Tell Me What It Means To Me

I'm tired. I'm tired of turning on the TV and seeing war and more war and more war. I tired of seeing pictures of dead bodies over and over again. How many times can you see a another picture of a dead child and not be disturbed by it. It took quite a few for me and I'm already messed up in the head. I lost my patriotism.


FUCK!

If the Statue of Liberty was a real woman she would move to another country. Just looking through her eyes. Terroism and planes going into buildings. Massive killings for years and years and years. Having the same fucking view of things for decades. She's gonna rust and fall into the ocean. She's gone mental. She gets kind of jumpy everytime a plane flys by. She hears people talking in disgust all around her about the war and then she hears people saying how she stands there proud with a smile on her face for what is going on.

And the thing I find really funny was when lot of the people here in the Ununited States of America were complaining about the French. "I refuse to eat French fries because it uses the name French." I refuse to eat French toast because it's from France." But then the Statue of Liberty came from France. Hmmmmm, she's still here. It's times like these I wished I was in Antartica. At least there I won't have to worry about watching more dead children on TV or watching another fucking article on Mel Gibson. Since I started, why not finish.....

Who the fuck cares about what he says about the Jews. For fucking crying out loud people get a fucking life. Everybody has said fuck the Jews and told them that they were the reason behind all the wars. Even I said that like a million times today. In all seriousness, I'm not racist. Unlike the Jew hating Mel Gibson. How can you say that after making Passion of the Christ. Ok, ok I let it end there.

Well that is me venting today. I feel so much better right now.

Passion of The Drunk

Mel Gibson in this undated photo has stirred a debate once again.

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - The arrest of Mel Gibson for drunk driving prompted renewed accusations on Sunday that the Oscar-winning director and actor harbored anti-Semitic feelings.


Gibson, whose controversial 2004 film "The Passion of the Christ" was a major hit, was arrested in the early hours of Friday morning for allegedly driving his 2006 Lexus at 87 mph (140 kph) along the Pacific Coast Highway in Malibu, the beach town north of Los Angeles.

Celebrity Web site TMZ.com posted portions of what it called the arresting deputy's original report, which said Gibson was abusive, shouted anti-Jewish slurs and boasted that he "owned Malibu."

The TMZ report quoted Gibson as saying, "F..... Jews. The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world." He then asked the deputy, "Are you a Jew?"

----------------------------------------


















----------------------------------------
Gibson issued a statement on Saturday in which he apologized for driving while drunk and for his "belligerent behavior" toward the Los Angeles County deputy sheriffs who arrested him.

In his statement the 50-year-old actor said he has "battled with the disease of alcoholism for all of my adult life and profoundly regret my horrific relapse."

He added: "I acted like a person completely out of control when I was arrested, and said things that I do not believe to be true and which are despicable."

The Anti-Defamation League said in a statement on Sunday that Gibson's response was "unremorseful and insufficient" and that his tirade "finally reveals his true self."

Many Jews and others were upset that "The Passion of the Christ" revived ancient Christian accusations that Jews bore responsibility for Jesus' death.

"It's not a proper apology because it does not go to the essence of his bigotry and his anti-Semitism," said ADL national director Abraham Foxman.

"We would hope that Hollywood now would realize the bigot in their midst and that they will distance themselves from this anti-Semite," he said.

The Los Angeles Times reported on Sunday that a civilian committee overseeing the sheriff's department would investigate whether officers tried to cover up Gibson's behavior and statements to save the star from embarrassment.

Gibson rocketed to fame in the late 1970s in the movie "Mad Max" and scored huge box office hits playing a cop in the "Lethal Weapon" movies.

In 1995, he acted in and directed "Braveheart," about 13th century Scottish rebel William Wallace. The movie earned 10 Oscar nominations and won five of the top film awards, including directing for Gibson and best picture of the year.

--------------------------------------------
How will the mighty Mel Gibson get out of this one? Stay tuned next week to the wacky adventures of Mel Gibson.

"Mel Gibson" The Drunken God of Beer

MALIBU, California (AP): Mel Gibson has been arrested for investigation of driving under the influence of alcohol, authorities said.

Gibson's 2006 Lexus LS 430 was speeding on Pacific Coast Highway when deputies stopped him at 2:36 a.m. Friday, said Steve Whitmore, a spokesman for the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department.

"He was going 87 miles per hour in a 45-miles-per-hour zone,'' Whitmore said. In metric, that is 140 kph in a 72-kph zone. Deputies conducted field sobriety tests. A breath test indicated Gibson's blood-alcohol level was 0.12 percent, Whitmore said.

The legal limit in California is 0.08 percent.

Gibson, 50, was booked at the Lost Hills Sheriff's station at 4:06 a.m., according to department records. The actor-director was cited and released at 9:45 a.m. after posting $5,000 (euro4,000) bail, Whitmore said.

"The investigation is ongoing,'' Whitmore said.

Gibson's spokesman, Alan Nierob, said he was looking into the matter.

------------

Yes! There is a God!

Panda Fur Smuggling

Hey mate, you got the fur?

What fur? Shhhh

Oh, yeah. The furrbies.

Ok, it's gonna be 4 grand for these fresh panda furs.

Just 4 grand! I climbed the trees of the Brazilian forest for these animals. It wasn't easy. I got a bruise on my arm when they got wild and attacked me.

I thought pandas were nice?

I guess when you try to kill them, any animal would beat the living shit out of you no matter how cute it looks.

Guess you're right. Here's 5 grand.

Here's the real story...........

BEIJING (Reuters) - Chinese police have detained a man trying to sell the fur of a young panda -- seen as a national treasure in the country -- for about $30,000, the official Xinhua news agency said Monday.

The man, surnamed Yang, was caught when he was about to finish the 250,000 yuan ($31,310) sale in the southeastern port city of Xiamen, Xinhua said.

"The fur is 60 centimetres (24 inches) long and belonged to a panda cub," it quoted experts as saying.

Yang and his accomplice, who is wanted by police, bought the fur with 6,000 yuan seven years ago from a man in the country's southwest where most pandas live, the report said, adding police also found the pelt of a clouded leopard with Yang.

The giant panda is one of the world's most exotic and endangered species and is found only in China. An estimated 1,500 wild pandas live in isolated nature reserves in Sichuan, Gansu and Shaanxi provinces.

Xinhua did not say what charges Yang would face, but poachers and smugglers of endangered animals could be jailed for more than 10 years and fined in China.

-----------------------------

In no way I condone panda killing. I couldn't say no to a face like that,

S&M Panda

Under Russia

I Say Goofy Makes A Better President

One Of Those Freak Shaving Accidents

Another feeling David Hasselhoff wasn't able to stop: pain.

The "Hooked on a Feeling" singer and current America's Got Talent judge underwent emergency surgery in London Thursday after slicing a tendon in his right arm during a freak shaving accident.


Publicist Judy Katz says the erstwhile Knight Rider hero was attempting a post-workout shave in the gym at London's Sanderson Hotel when he hit his head on a glass object, pieces of which cut into his arm.


--------------------------------------------

I'm sorry, but I can't stop laughing.

--------------------------------------------

While various British media reports claim the offending item was a chandelier (!), Britain's Sun tabloid pegs the culprit as a glass shelf.


"David had just finished working out in the gym at the hotel where he was staying," Katz is quoted in the paper. "He was getting ready to shave and bent down but when he stood up David hit his head on a glass shelf and it shattered.


"Some of the glass got into his hand and cut it quite badly."


The former Speedo-loving Baywatcher was taken from his temporary West End digs--he's in London working on some TV commercials--to St. Thomas Hospital to undergo an operation to repair the severed tendon.


"He's fine," Katz told the Associated Press. "He's out of the hospital and will resume filming tomorrow."


The 53-year-old actor alum arrived in London earlier this week to star in a series of spots for Pipex, a British Internet company.


The accident may have been some kind of karmic justice.


Hasselhoff recently disappointed audiences across the pond by canceling his debut pantomime role as Captain Hook in the musical Peter Pan, due to open this year in London.


He reneged on the theater gig after learning the schedule would clash with his current day job, acting as judge on the Regis Philbin-hosted, Simon Cowell-produced talent search, America's Got Talent.


He judges the competition alongside Brandy and British journalist Piers Morgan.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

What we have is a failure to commit, failure to commit suicide. At least we all have Baywatch to remember Pamela and Carmen by, fuck Hasselhoff.

Judge Uses Penis Pump During Trial

BRISTOW, Okla. - Serving on the jury in an indecent-exposure trial unfolding in this conservative Oklahoma town has been a giggle-inducing experience.

Former Judge Donald D. Thompson, a veteran of 23 years on the bench, is on trial on charges he used a penis pump on himself in the courtroom while sitting in judgment of others.

Over the past few days, the jurors have watched a defense attorney and a prosecutor pantomime masturbation. A doctor has lectured on the lengths the defendant was willing to go to enhance his sexual performance.

The white-handled sexual device sits before the jury box for hours at a time. Occasionally an attorney picks it up and squeezes the handle, demonstrating the "sh-sh" sound of air rushing through the contraption's plastic tubing.

The jurors sometimes exchange awkward looks and break into nervous laughter when the testimony takes a lurid turn.

Thompson, 59, is charged with four counts of indecent exposure, each punishable by up to 10 years in prison. If convicted, he would also have to register as a sex offender, and his $7,489.91-a-month pension would be in jeopardy.

Thompson's former court reporter, Lisa Foster, wiped away tears as she described tracing an unfamiliar "sh-sh" in the courtroom to her boss. She testified that between 2001 and 2003 she saw Thompson expose himself at least 15 times.

"I was really shocked and I was kind of scared because it was so bizarre," said Foster.

She testified that during a trial in 2002, she heard the pump during the emotional testimony of a murdered toddler's grandfather.

The grandfather "was getting real teary-eyed, and the judge was up there pumping on that pump," she said. "It was sickening."

The allegations came to light after a police officer who was in Thompson's court heard pumping sounds and took photos of the device during a break in the proceedings.

Thompson took the stand in his own defense, saying the device was a gag gift from a longtime friend with whom he had joked about erectile dysfunction. He said he kept the pump under the bench or in his office but didn't use it.

"In 20-20 hindsight, I should have thrown it away," he said.

The R-rated testimony has produced occasional outbursts of laughter and surreal scenes. A man who once served as a juror in Thompson's court testified that he never saw the device, but figured out what it was based on movies he had seen.

The comment sent sidelong glances through the courtroom.

"It sounded like a penis pump to me," Daniel Greenwood testified. He said he had seen such devices in "Austin Powers" and "Dead Man on Campus."

Dr. S. Edward Dakil, a urologist called as an expert witness, repeatedly prompted laughter from the jury when discussion turned to the penis pump. Dakil defended use of the device after defense attorney Clark Brewster said it was an out-of-date treatment for erectile dysfunction.

"I still use those," Dakil testified.

Brewster paused.

"Not you, personally?" he asked.

"No," Dakil responded as jurors laughed. "I recommend those as a urologist."

----------------------------------------------

Yep, he's gonna get ass raped in jail with that penis pump.

Britney Spears Is A Truckin'

Apparently, Britney Spears is out to prove she's not a girl and very much a woman.

Just days after baring her soul on Dateline, the pregnant pop tart is taking a page out of Demi Moore's playbook and baring, well, everything else, for the cover of the August issue of Harper's Bazaar.


The magazine confirmed Wednesday that Spears posed in the nude for the cover and an accompanying feature story and photo spread at a shoot on Thursday.


Unfortunately for Harper's, said photos leaked onto the Internet shortly after the conclusion of the shoot and were available on various Websites as of Wednesday afternoon.


In the images, a newly dark-haired Spears strikes various poses in all her six-months-pregnant glory, sometimes clothed, sometimes not.


A naked Sean Preston makes a cameo in one of the photos, clutched in his mother's arms. A naked Kevin Federline, thankfully, did not make the cut.


After the leak, Harper's released the cover shot for publicity purposes, but informed the non-Internet-using segment of its readership that it would have to wait until the issue hit stands on July 25 to view the rest of the spread.


Spears', shall we say, artsy cover girl stint comes after the singer was reportedly shocked by the negative reaction to her recent tearful Dateline confessional.


In a poll conducted by Us Weekly, 87 percent of respondents said they had less respect for Spears after her sitdown with Matt Lauer. Meanwhile, the New York Post reported that the NBC crew filming the interview was so startled by Spears' disheveled appearance when they arrived that they thought they had the wrong day.


As a result of the backlash, Spears apparently decided to prove that with the help of a little airbrushing, she can be the same Britney we once knew and loved. Except, you know, pregnant.


Meanwhile, according to a report in In Touch Weekly, Spears is considering returning to her roots--and not just the brunette ones. The magazine claims that the Louisiana native is considering moving back home to the town of Kentwood, where she was born.


"She wants to come home," Kentwood Mayor Harold Smith told the magazine. "She's building more rooms for her growing family. She wants a nursery and some kids' rooms."


The magazine claims that Federline is supportive of his wife's wishes, though there's no telling how the move could affect his quest to save the penny.


The couple is expecting their second child together, and Federline's fourth overall, in October.

Where Are You Bruce Willis and Ben Affleck!

An asteroid possibly as large as a half-mile or more in diameter is rapidly approaching the Earth. There is no need for concern, for no collision is in the offing, but the space rock will make an exceptionally close approach to our planet early on Monday, July 3, passing just beyond the Moon's average distance from Earth.

Astronomers will attempt to get a more accurate assessment of the asteroid's size by “pinging” it with radar.


And skywatchers with good telescopes and some experience just might be able to get a glimpse of this cosmic rock as it streaks rapidly past our planet in the wee hours Monday. The closest approach occurs late Sunday for U.S. West Coast skywatchers.


The asteroid, designated 2004 XP14, was discovered on Dec. 10, 2004 by the Lincoln Laboratory Near Earth Asteroid Research (LINEAR), a continuing camera survey to keep watch for asteroids that may pass uncomfortably close to Earth.


Although initially there were concerns that this asteroid might possibly impact Earth later this century and thus merit special monitoring, further analysis of its orbit has since ruled out any such collision, at least in the foreseeable future.


Size not known


Asteroid 2004 XP14 is a member of a class of asteroids known as Apollo, which have Earth-crossing orbits. The name comes from 1862 Apollo, the first asteroid of this group to be discovered. There are now 1,989 known Apollos.


The size of 2004 XP 14 is not precisely known. But based on its brightness, the diameter is believed to be somewhere in the range of 1,345 to 3,018-feet (410 to 920 meters). That's between a quarter mile and just over a half-mile wide.


Due to the proximity of its orbit to Earth [Map] and its estimated size, this object has been classified as a “Potentially Hazardous Asteroid” (PNA) by the Minor Planet Center in Cambridge, Massachusetts. There are currently 783 PNAs.


The latest calculations show that 2004 XP14 will pass closest to Earth at 04:25 UT on July 3 (12:25 a.m. EDT or 9:25 p.m. PDT on July 2). The asteroid's distance from Earth at that moment will be 268,624-miles (432,308 km), or just 1.1 times the Moon's average distance from Earth.


Spotting 2004 XP14 will be a challenge, best accomplished by seasoned observers with moderate-sized telescopes.


On April 13, 2029, observers in Asia and North Africa will have a chance to see another asteroid, but without needing a telescope. Asteroid 99942 Apophis, about 1,000 feet (300 meters) wide, is expected to be visible to the naked eye as it passes within 20,000 miles (32,000 km). Astronomers say an asteroid that large comes that close about once every 1,500 years.


Observing plans


As 2004 XP14 makes its closest approach to Earth, astronomers will attempt to gauge its size and shape by analysis of very high frequency radio waves reflected from its surface.


Such radar measurements of the exact distance and velocity of the asteroid will allow for precise information on its orbit. From this scientists can also discern details of the asteroid's mass, as well as a measurement of its density, which is a very important indicator of its overall composition and internal structure.


Astronomers plan to utilize NASA's 70-meter (230-foot) diameter Goldstone radar, the largest and most sensitive antenna in its Deep Space Network. Located in California's Mojave Desert, the Goldstone antenna has been used to bounce radio signals off other Near-Earth asteroids many times before, and it is now being readied to “ping” 2004 XP14 on July 3, 4 and 5.


Augmenting the Goldstone observations will be radar observations scheduled at Evpatoria in the Ukraine, commencing several hours prior to the July 3 observations at Goldstone.


Editor's Note: A SPACE.com viewer's guide for 2004 XP14 will be presented in Joe Rao's weekly Night Sky column on Friday, June 30.

----------------------------

Wouldn't be funny if the asteroid actually did hit earth. I bet one scientist will be fired for the wrong prediction, that's if we all live of course.

Can You Spare That Dollar?

This picture really got to me. I laughed at first because he's right and I'm fucked up mentally. When people see a bum, they sometimes just turn their head as if they aren't even there. They are trying to talk to you but you just brush them off. Me personally, I know I do that.

My girlfriend and I clash over this every time we see a homeless person. She's gonna kill me after she reads this. If I'm walking down the street with her and I see a bum, I would purposely cross the street to avoid all eye contact. I'm pretty sure she's already caught on by now, but I'm just untrustworthy when it comes to homeless people.

She always sees a person down on their luck that never wanted to be poor but was dealt a shitty life. What I see is a person that fucked up their life by drugs or booze and pushed everybody out of their life and years later they finally see how fucked up their life is but instead of taking the money and saving it for something good, they buy it booze or cigs.

I do ignore them and I do turn the other way. The last time I gave a homeless guy money he went right inside the store and bought liquor. I was saving that money for pornographic sex cards but I guess the money would have been wasted either way. I'm like fuck it. How do you know they are not gonna spend the money on dumb shit? Now before I even think about giving out money I kind of look them over and see if they look as if they are even trying to be better, then I'd donate something or give some friendly advice.......friendly.

In conclusion, I'm an asshole. But I am very friendly. I do sometimes give some change out to some homeless people. I'm even planning on volunteering around Christmas with my girlfriend this year, and this is a big thing, I never volunteer for anything.

Cops Always Putting The Clown Down!

Frodo Failed!